Man tells cousin 'my wedding isn't childfree your kid is insufferable to be around.' UPDATED
'My cousin Linda is terrible to be around, and she's made her daughter the most insufferable child in the world.'
I (27m) am getting married to my fiancé (25f), and we've decided that friends and family can bring their kids since, for the most part, the kids are well-behaved and will be with a sitter for the night so the parents can enjoy the festivities.
The only exception is my cousin Linda's daughter Cerrie. Linda's entitled and selfish, and she's made her daughter entitled and selfish.
Two years ago, my other cousin, Linda's sister Lily got married, and Cerrie ruined the wedding by throwing a tantrum and destroying the cake because she was jealous that Lily's daughter was the flower girl.
Linda recently called me up to 'talk' and brought up child-free weddings and how terrible they are. Her invitation said nothing about a child-free wedding, it had her name and her husband's name on it and no plus one or anything to indicate Carrie could come.
I told her I wasn't having a child-free wedding, Cerrie wasn't invited because of what happened at Lily's wedding. I don't want a repeat of Cerrie seeing she's not the flower girl again and throwing another fit.
Linda's since gotten all her friends and the few people in the family who take her side to bombard me, my fiancé, and my family with texts about how selfish we are for purposefully excluding one child. At the same time, everyone else can bring their kids.
OP added an update:
Everyone keeps asking, 'Why invite Linda at all?' My family is big on 'family is everything,' 'family first,' and 'respect your elders.' If I'd not invited Linda and her husband, the sh%t storm would be much more significant. The majority of my family would call me to tell me to ask her.
OP provided another update 6 months later.
It wasn't that fun or exciting. Linda decided to boycott the wedding and managed to persuade a lot of the family to join her. My fiancé and I were able to invite more of our own friends to fill the empty seats, and we didn't experience the usual family drama that tends to occur at such events because all the drama creators were absent.
Emily didn't serve as the flower girl; instead, our friends' kids each received a small basket of petals to throw around. Overall, we had a great time—no tantrums, no cake smashing.
We haven't been attending family events as frequently, except for Christmas at my parents', which is always a small affair with only immediate family, so no Linda and Cerrie. Linda moved on from the wedding to focus on something else equally trivial and insignificant, as did everyone else.
Cerrie's dad actually put his foot down for the first time. She's going to be held back a year due to her poor grades, and I think she'll undergo some kind of behavioral therapy. I'm not entirely sure; it's all I've heard through the grapevine. Maybe she'll get invited to the next wedding if her behavior actually improves.
Here are some of the top comments:
Maleficent_Ant2594 says:
NTA, uninvite anyone that complained.
Disastrous_Cress_701 says:
NTA. Cerrie was 10 when she threw her fit. That's old enough to know better. Now she's 12 going on 13 with extra fun hormones raging through her system.
Has she/did she show any remorse for her behaviour? Is that an ongoing issue with her throwing tantrums when she's not the sole focus?
Forsaken-Teaching756 says:
NTA, but I would reply 'You're so right, it was really mean to exclude a child from the wedding her parents are invited to. Therefore I rescind the invite to you and your husband.'
jrm1102 says:
Looks like you made the right choice - congrats on the wedding and glad it worked out.
What do you think? Was OP right to tell his cousin that her kid was terrible?