Woman scolded for being a surrogate for best friend and not 'model' sister. AITA?
"AITA for choosing to be my best friends surrogate & not my sisters?"
Additional_Pizza1180
I (25f) have a son (2m) but he’s not a huge part of this story apart from the fact he exists. My friend ,we’ll call her Kate (28f), had to have her uterus taken out two or so years ago due to in rupturing during pregnancy. Her and her husband have always wanted children, and they’ve never had a successful pregnancy.
About a year ago, I offered to be their surrogate so they’d be able to have a baby. I didn’t really tell anyone this, apart from my partner. I didn’t feel the need to flaunt myself to the whole family I just kept it private.
Well I’m currently 20 weeks pregnant with their baby, and I’m starting to show. My mother (55f) and sister (31f) let’s call her Sarah recently came round as it was very recently both mine and my son’s birthdays.
She literally gasped when she saw me pregnant asking why didn’t tell her she was getting another grandbaby, I told her I was carrying Kate’s baby because she couldn’t.
My family and I aren’t very close, I haven’t seen them in the last year since I started surrogacy, and it’s not my baby so I just generally don’t announce it. I’m just going to play out the conversation between the two of us:
Mother: But when Sarah asked you to be her surrogate you refused, yet you said yes to Kate? You said yes to your friend and not your own blood!
Me: But Sarah has a uterus, a fully functional one. Kate doesn’t even have any chance of having a child without this. So why would Sarah even need a surrogate?
Mother: You know why Sarah needs one! She’ planning to become a model and she doesn’t want to ruin her body.
Me: Well that’s just the price of having children, and anyway what do you want me to do? Such it out of me like when you have a runny nose?
Then my partner asked her to leave, and the two of them did. Well my mother obviously told some twisted story to the rest of the family, as they are all attacking me on how I should put family first always. I don’t think I did anything at all wrong, but I’ve got the whole family falling me an a-hole so AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Jskm79
See what I don’t get is why anyone in the family thinks they have any kind of say in anything that has to do with you and your body? As well as definitely not the asshole. Your sister is 31 that’s too old to become any kind of famous model tell her get a clue and she’s not Kim Kardashian she can have her own damn kid.
People who won’t have a kid with their own uterus because they don’t want to ruin their looks shouldn’t be able to have kids in my opinion. What kind of mother won’t sacrifice for her kids?
FairyFartDaydreams
NTA and I would respond that there is nothing wrong with sister's uterus she just doesn't want stretch marks to anyone who makes a comment to you.
Katana_x
NTA. But tell your family: good news! Your mom can be your sisters surrogate! The hormones they inject you with are artificial, so it's not like she has to produce her own. Menopause isn't a barrier!
Ok_Conversation9750
"She’ planning to become a model and she doesn’t want to ruin her body."
Does she plan on being a model for AARP, cuz she's really late to the show.
Ask Heidi Klum who carried her babies. Oh wait...she carried her own! I guess she didn't get the memo about it "ruining her body."
NTA but your mom and sister sure are!
BrilliantEmphasis862
NTA by a long shot, that is very nice what you are doing for your friend. Is your sister willing to give you 25% of her income for allowing her to “keep her body” I doubt it - keep your head held high, you are a good person.
BulbasaurRanch
NTA. First, if your sister is
2831 and not already a model, it’s incredibly unlikely she’s going to become one now. “Planning to become a model” - lol. You don’t need to justify your decision to your family.
It’s ridiculous that your mother is upset about your decision here. You are helping a friend who can’t. It’s not nearly the same as doing it for your delusional sister because she doesn’t want to be inconvenienced by a pregnancy.
SuperWomanUSA
The sister is 31, the best friend is 28, but I wanted to help emphasize your point even more. They 30 something year old woman is delaying child rearing because she’s “planning” to become a model. NTA.
Night_Umbreon_1993
NTA- You can do what you want with your body, and it's a very sweet thing what you're doing for Kate. Your sister is so vain if she wanted you to be her surrogate, just so she could keep her figure for modeling. And at her age, modeling is becoming more and more unlikely. Your mom and sister have no right to bully you and guilt you.
SockMaster9273
NTA. You aren't close to your family. You are close to Kate. Of course if you were going to do this for anyone, you would do it for someone who you are close too. Do new inexperienced models get hired at 31? There aren't many models out there over that age and the ones that are have been modeling since 15. Should there be older models? Of course? Is your sister going to be one? Probably not.
Your sister could find someone she is closer to, someone who has seen her in the last 6 months that could do this? I'm gonna say if no one want to do this for her, there might be a reason.
"Your sister wants to become a model" She can model for maternity clothing then. Your family is ridiculous. Hope the baby is happy and healthy with Kate and her husband.