'WIBTA for not buying Christmas presents for BIL, SIL, and their kids?'
"WIBTA for not buying Christmas presents for BIL, SIL, and their kids ?"
Three weeks ago, BIL brought up to my husband that they are not able to save money. He asked if they can move in with up temporary so they can save money and buy a mobile home.
My husband felt bad for his brother and asked what I thought about it. I said no because we also live in a mobile home with three bedrooms. We have 5 small children. It will be tight because BIL and SIL also have three kids.
That will be a total of 12 people. We’re also struggling ourselves and can’t also feed a total of 12 people. My husband works and I’m a SAHM.
However; my husband truly felt that if it’s temporary we should help them. And so we agreed. Because BIL and his family are moving in, we had to move all of kids and their stuffs into one room. We got rid of a bunch of our stuffs and our kids toys. We downsized a lot.
My husband was out of work for 4 months due to an injury. He just started working last month. We have so much medical bills from his surgery. We are struggling. We used up all of our savings. We’re just getting back on our feet. We agreed that this year we won’t buy anyone gifts like how we do every year.
For Christmas, my husband and I were able to set $500 aside for our kids. But because of our situation, instead of buying our kids individual toys/clothes for Christmas we decided to buy two things that they all can share. We bought them the Nex playground console and the pass, and Nugget couch. Our kids also received gifts from my brother and sisters.
At first they said they won’t move in until January but we just found out that they will be moving in next week. My husband and I will not be able to buy anyone gifts this year except our kids. We both have big families and a lot of nieces/families.
Every year BIL and SIL tells us that they can’t buy us and our kids gifts and also their kids. I was just thinking that what happens if BIL and SIL doesn’t buy their kids gifts this year and on Christmas morning they will watch our kids open theirs.
That thought makes me feel bad but it’s so sudden and we can’t afford to buy them all gifts. I feel like we might have to figure something out and buy it for them. However my husband said we don’t because we are not able to.
He said that BIL said they have too much stuffs and clothes to bring in and so buying them clothes/toys will just be a clutter again. Would we be the buttface if we don’t buy them Christmas presents?
Let's see what readers had to say:
hagyup writes:
They are not entitled to anything of yours. You were barely able to do things for your own children, so you certainly shouldn’t be expected to put more strain on your finances to buy gifts for others.
Having them in your very small home is already going to be stressful. It wouldn’t surprise me if it puts a huge strain on your budget, too. Utility costs will go up from more people using everything. Do you have an arrangement regarding food? If not, you may end up funding a lot of that, too, which is painful with prices these days.
If complains are made, a roof over their heads with functioning heat is their Christmas gift from you.
rasety writes:
They are not entitled to anything of yours. You were barely able to do things for your own children, so you certainly shouldn’t be expected to put more strain on your finances to buy gifts for others.
Having them in your very small home is already going to be stressful. It wouldn’t surprise me if it puts a huge strain on your budget, too. Utility costs will go up from more people using everything. Do you have an arrangement regarding food? If not, you may end up funding a lot of that, too, which is painful with prices these days.
If complains are made, a roof over their heads with functioning heat is their Christmas gift from you.
faqg56 writes:
Nta, and I think it's insane to cram so many people inside a small mobile home. Perhaps you can buy each child something small, like go to the dollar store and get drawing pencils and a pad, or some small toy. I wish you the very best of luck.