'AITA for confronting my fiancé after finding out he got me a fake engagement ring?' UPDATED

"AITA for confronting my fiancé after I was turned away from the jewelry store for having a fake ring when trying to have it sized?"

My fiancé proposed on Christmas and everything was perfect. The ring was a bit too big though and I’ve just hit my goal weight (I was losing weight) so I figured I’d have it sized correctly. I’ve been holding off because I wanted to make sure I was the correct size after losing the weight.

The ring box says Tiffany and Co. and I was literally over the moon with it. I told him he shouldn’t have spent this much on me but he said he wanted to get me the blue box. I go into Tiffany’s to have it sized because my friend told me I should only have them work on my ring. They take the ring and ask my for my fiancé’s info to look up in their system.

They can’t find it and she takes the ring in the back. The manager comes back a little while after and says that this isn’t a Tiffany and Co. ring and shows me there’s no engraving inside. I go home and my first thought is that he probably bought it preloved and he got duped. He comes home from work and I ask him where he got the ring from.

He said Tiffany and Co. at (locations name) I flat out asked him if he got it used online and it was okay if he did. He flipped out and said no it’s new from the store. I fessed up and told him what happened with the sizing.

He flipped out and said that I was checking up on him and snooping for the price, etc. I was firm and said no I just wanted it resized and they told me it’s not from their company. He said that they’re wrong and he got it there.

He told me that I should have consulted him and he would of had it sized for me and that it feels like I’m going behind his back. I’m confused by this because I thought it was a simple task that I didn’t need him for. Anyway, he won’t really talk about where he got the ring and is only saying that he will size it and took the ring.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

AceyAceyAcey said:

NTA and put the wedding plans on hold until he comes clean. It’s one thing to screw up and accidentally buy a fake. It’s another thing for him to...

1.) lie about where he got it when directly asked, 2.) double-down on the lie when you give him evidence of his lie, 3.) gaslight you about things you know to be true, 4.) jump to accusing you of things out of the blue, and, 5.) tell you that you need his permission to size your ring.

At least if you call off the engagement, you can give back the ring without worrying about losing anything of value.

MudShots said:

NTA. He lied and is trying to cover his own ass.

OP responded:

But he legit gave it to me in a Tiffany box. I don’t get it. He could have just given it to me in a different box and I would of gone wherever to get it sized.

fancypants-macghee said:

Um, NTA. And frankly, your fiancé’s reaction is a bit alarming.

medicalbutamess said:

NTA. You shouldn’t have to “fess up” for trying to resize your ring. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to make a ring you love the size you wanted. It seems like he’s overreacting and hiding something by being so secretive about it.

And FarAwayPeople said:

NTA - It sounds like he did get you a fake ring and just put it in a pretty box to fool you. Then you found out and he got angry that you caught him lying. I don't doubt that the people that work at Tiffany and Co. would know a fake ring when they see one.

I bet if you asked for a receipt (to varify where he did get it from), he would deflect and say you only want to know how much he spent, or some other bs reason. He's trying to blame you so that you focus on something else other than his lies.

OP, if he acts like this over a ring, imagine being married to a guy who has no problem lying to you, and making you feel like the ass when he gets caught. He just got caught and decided to double down on his lie, rather than apologizing and fessing up.

She later shared this first update:

First of all, thanks to everyone who commented on my original post and for the help. I’ve had an overwhelming amount of messages that I can’t reply to at the moment, but I appreciate everyone caring enough that they wanted an update.

I am still staying in a hotel, I don’t have any close friends or family nearby and I’ve met with a lawyer to help me sell my half of our house. He decided the relationship isn’t salvageable because I aired our dirty laundry on the internet and it got popular with the media. I’ll be leaving my job in a week to move back home with my family.

Unfortunately this has put me in a financial bind but it’s better than staying with my ex at this point, I’m glad he ended it because maybe I was too much of a coward to. The ring was just a symptom of the problem. I guess you don’t want to financially commit to an expensive ring when you know in your heart that the person doesn’t mean all that much to you.

Edit:

I know this is wrong but I checked his tablet this morning when he went to work to see if I can find any information. His amazon was still logged in and found my ring on there, actually 2 of them. The first one was bought December 2nd and then another one a size smaller last night.​​​​​​

I’m beyond words. Not that it’s not a Tiffany ring but that he was playing me with a $6 ring. After he purchased a mini bar and an OLED TV for himself on Black Friday. I can’t believe I went into Tiffany’s with a $5 rip off. I’m mortified.

Edit 2:

So I texted him the link while he’s at work. He called me like 2 seconds later and asked me what’s going on. I said I went on his iPad because I had to use it and he left the browser on this. (Little lie on my part) I told him I don’t care about the ring but devastated at the lies. I told him if he doesn’t tell me the truth right now and why he did it that I’m getting a hotel and he won’t see me when he gets home.

He started crying saying that he felt like he needed to get me the best but he couldn’t afford it. I said but you could afford the 3k on your stuff. He said the smallest Tiffany ring is at least 5k which i doubt is true I’m sure there’s cheaper but whatever and that he just wanted to get me a stand in until he saved up. I told him I didn’t even need the Tiffany ring.

That he could have bought a $200 14k gold band at Macy’s. Instead he spent money on a box and two fake rings. He then confessed and said that he got the box from his friend that proposed with a Tiffany ring years ago and the wife doesn’t need the boxes. I hung up. I texted him I need some space and time and I’m going to go stay at a hotel to just chill for a day.