'AITA for considering divorce because my wife had a one night Tinder hookup?' 'We were separated.'
"AITA for considering divorce because my wife had a one night stand when we were separated for 7 months?"
My wife (32F) and I (34M) have been married for 8 years. We have no children. To provide some more background, my sister had finalized her divorce proceedings last year, her ex husband had berated her and blamed her a lot because she had 3 miscarriages, it was the darkest moment in her life.
She quit her job, and when she called me and broke down in tears, she asked if I could stay over at her place for a few days. I did, and she asked if I could stay over at her place for a few months.
This was a big decision, so I told my sister I would go back home, discuss with my wife, and then let her know. I went back home and told my wife everything, and asked if I could stay over at my sister’s place for a few months.
We discussed this over the next few days, and my wife and I decided that I could, and I thanked my wife a lot. I do work remote, and that worked in my favor.
I stayed over at my sister’s place for a few months till she got her bearings in order. She has a new job now, she understands now that her ex husband is a POS, and that nothing was her fault. She was very thankful that I stayed, and she did want me to stay for more, but I had to go back home to my wife.
When I got back home, my wife was very happy and we carried on with our life as normal. However, a couple of nights ago; my wife wanted to get something off her chest as she felt extremely guilty hiding it from me for so long.
She said she had a one night stand a couple of months after I left to my sisters, and she badly regretted it. My wife was crying a lot, and she said she just felt lonely, but the intimacy with that tinder hookup made her realize intimacy is meaningless with love.
I was a bit numb and stunned, and I told my wife I needed a few days to process everything. It’s been a couple of days, and I don’t think I can reconcile with my wife. My love for her has massively diminished. Would I by the AH for considering divorce?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Exotic-Ad-2194 said:
She's the AH for cheating yes but you're kinda the AH for leaving your wife for that long!!! I don't understand why it took 7 months. That's ridiculous! If your sister needed that much support you should've brought her to your house instead of abandoning your wife for over half a year!
Different_Umpire9003 said:
NTA cos she cheated. But this works out great! Now you can also get a divorce and move in back with your sister. Because that’s not weird at all.
Raspbers said:
ESH. You for abandoning your wife for your sister for 7 months and obviously her for the cheating. Honestly feel sister sucks too for using you as an emotional crutch to such a degree.
Jakb4321 said:
YTA for leaving that long. She’s the AH for cheating (which is totally not ok) . I know you said she was fine with you leaving but if she had told you no you would have called her selfish.
Now your sister will blame herself for your break up because she asked you to come and you did. People need to stop imploding their lives for other family members
Wonderful_Adagio_401 said:
Cheating is not okay. Neither is taking off for seven months to hold your sister’s hand. Your wife came clean and from what you said appears to have learned the lesson. It’s not AH for you to walk away, but is that the answer? Is this something you truly won’t be able to get past?
I_am_Reddit_Tom said:
You weren't separated from your marriage. She cheated. NTA