'AITA for eloping and 'taking the experience away from my sister'?'
"AITA for eloping and 'taking the experience away from my sister'?"
Long story short…my husband (30M) and I (31F) got married in a different state than our families reside. My husband had not yet had a chance to meet my distant relatives (including my aunt) before we eloped.
Our wedding was just the two of us and our officiant on a pretty hiking trail in TN. Quick cute little ceremony. We said our vows, exchanged rings, took some pics and that was it.
I had told my family about two weeks before that I was going to do this. My sister has always wanted me to have a wedding so she could be my maid of honor. She was disappointed but ultimately said it was my choice.
About a week later we went on vacation with my aunt who voiced that she felt I “took away my sister's experience” and also told me that she “didn’t like my husband” and was “angry” because she didn’t get to meet him before we got married. My husband responded with “womp womp” which ended up making her even more angry.
Additional info: When I asked my sister how she felt about what my aunt said she replied with “that’s a conversation for just you and I to have once and then it be done."
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
SusanfromMA said:
Your aunt sounds insufferable and butting into things that are NONE OF HER BUSINESS! I love your husband's response to bitter old aunty. You took nothing away from your sister, it was her dream to be a MOH, not your requirement. I would steer clear of the bitter aunt, she is a troublemaker. NTA. Congratulations on your nuptials!
QuinGood said:
NTA. Additional info: When I asked my sister how she felt about what my aunt said she replied with “that’s a conversation for just you and I to have once and then it be done."
Talk to your sister privately and be done with this. That's apparently what she wants. It was not your aunt's place to communicate your sister's supposed disappointment. You are under no obligation to have a wedding for the benefit of others. You had the wedding you wanted, and that's all that matters.
It appears your husband acted in an immature fashion with his comment, but I wasn't there to hear your aunt's verbiage and tone of voice. It's possible that he was entirely correct in making his comment. Best Wishes for a Happy Marriage!
HazyLazySummer said:
NTA. Last time I checked, the “experience” of a wedding is important for the couple. If they choose to share that with friends and family, have fun! If they choose to not share it and keep it tiny and intimate, have fun!
wrigleythestringworm said:
NTA. Your husband is an icon for hitting her with a womp womp. Im dying of laughter.
indred72 said:
NTA - you obviously made the right choice with your husband based on his response to your aunt. What a guy. Who you marry was never her decision, nor was her opinion a requirement.
Have the conversation with your sister but it was always your wedding. It might have been her dream, but it wasn't yours. You made the choice with your husband and that was the right choice.
roborabbit_mama said:
NTA. I had my heart set on a location for our wedding that was going to limit the guests (including myself and the groom) to max 60 people. I had to have multiple conversations that our wedding wasn't a family reunion.
We couldn't invite everyone on my father's side bc we were too damn large, no we didn't want coworkers of family attending either, and no the venue limited alcohol to five types to be offered, we did a wine bar. No one on my side of the family drinks unless it's spouses, and we couldn't include children if the adults were attending.
Your sister can have hurt feelings but she can be MOH at her friend(s) wedding(s), your aunts input on your sister's behalf was not wanted nor warranted, and how rude to say you don't like a guy you've just met, way to make you and him not like her moving forward.