Couple insists on dry wedding, 'my side of the family is REFUSING to attend.' AITA?
"Me and my fiancée are having a dry wedding and my side of the family are refusing to attend..."
Backstory to this: my fiancée (27F) was an alcoholic, she started drinking at 15 due to her parents being alcoholics and stopped drinking when she was 22. When we started dating, one of her hard limits was no alcohol in her home. I personally don’t drink that often so it was quite easy for me to just not have alcohol while at her place.
When we moved in together, we made our house alcohol-free to make sure she had a space that didn’t have that temptation for her. I want to add that she won’t stop people from drinking when we are not at home, she just likes to have spaces where it’s alcohol-free.
When we started planning our wedding, we decided super early on to make the wedding a dry wedding and instead have fun alcohol-free cocktails and coffee/chocolate drink bar.
My parents found out the venue will be alcohol-free and have been pushing back on this relentlessly. They claim that the wedding will be more fun if they are allowed a few beers and that they need the alcohol to loosen up.
Dad's words were “alcohol makes weddings less boring and more enjoyable." They don’t care that we want this to be a wedding that will make my future wife comfortable and happy. Extra info: All of our friends are fine that it’s alcohol-free. My fiancées family isn’t attending because she is NC with them. (I’m 27F also.)
Here's what people had to say about this one:
JigglesTheBiggles said:
Have a smaller wedding and just invite your friends.
Equal_Factor_6449 said:
Tell them "We'll miss you." And get on with your plans. NTA.
KrofftSurvivor said:
NTA. Bad news - your family has an alcohol problem also. Because if they can't manage a few hours without a drink - that's a drinking problem. Accept all refusals to attend with a cheerful ~Ok, we'll miss seeing you~ and have the wedding with the people who are actually supportive of your relationship.
misscaulfieldsays said:
NTA - I love myself a few drinks, but c’mon, delicious mocktails and chocolate/coffee bar, free food, celebrating a joyous occasion with loved ones? Sign me up! Their loss if they can’t handle a day without boozing it up for the people they love.
Shame on them for not respecting your wife. It’s YOUR wedding and you owe no one explanations or apologies. Congratulations.
Puzzleheaded-Mix1270 said:
NTA - Your family should be supportive of their daughter in law, and not be so selfish. They are forgetting this is your day not theirs, and if they want to let loose, they can go to a bar.
JackieRogers34810 said:
Yeah, sounds like your parents are alcoholics. Don’t let them bully you. NTA.
Kitchen-Witch-1987 said:
I guess more coffee/chocolate for your friends! Hey it is you and your fiancée's wedding! You plan how you want it. If alcohol is the only reason people would be there then that is on THEM! NTA!
Love-and-literature3 said:
NTA, but it’s time to stop the conversation about it. “This is what’s right for us and it won’t be changing. If that’s a dealbreaker for you then I’ll miss having my family there but I can’t make you come.”