GoFundMe fraud exposed: 'Starving' pregnant woman's claims debunked by cousin. AITA?
"AITA for exposing my cousin after she tried to scam $5,000 from people and use her pregnancy for sympathy?"
unowen9819
For the purposes of this story, let's call my cousin Amanda.
In September, Amanda (21F) met Cody (19M), who would become her baby's father.
After talking for only two days, Amanda drove two states away to pick Cody up and bring him back to her home state, where they quickly moved in together and out of her sister's apartment. They lived in their own apartment for about three months but decided not to pay rent for at least two of those months.
During these months, Amanda was also living off of the money family, and family friends would loan her with the promise of paying it back. Instead of paying them back, she prioritzed getting her nails done, going to the salon, and buying other non-essentials.
She also used the money that was loaned to her to buy these things instead of food, gas, or other essentials that she claimed she needed to buy. They were notified that they would be evicted if they did not get their money together to pay the landlord.
However, they found out Amanda was pregnant, decided not to pay the back-owed rent (or pay back the money she loaned from other people), and left everything behind, moving back to Cody's home state.
In Cody's home state, they ended up living in a camper at his parents' house. Amanda wasn't allowed inside unless someone was home, didn't have a job, and expected Cody to do all the work when he returned home from his job.
By May, Amanda and Cody announced they were coming back and would stay with Amanda's parents until they could get on their feet. The whole family hoped they would straighten out, but that didn't happen.
Since May, both Amanda and Cody have job-hopped, holding four jobs each for no more than four or five days. They also did Doordash using an uninsured, unregistered, uninspected vehicle.
On June 5th or 6th, they got into an accident. Luckily, Amanda, Cody, and the unborn baby were fine. The damage was minimal, and Amanda's mom took her to the hospital, where she was checked out and released within an hour with only minor bruises to note.
After the accident, Amanda stopped working despite having a rental car. They started receiving financial assistance and food from family and friends. Recently, I discovered Amanda had created a GoFundMe page, claiming to be a "starving" mother-to-be needing help with medical bills.
This was far from the truth. Amanda receives state assistance and is on her father's insurance, which fully covers her medical expenses (she has only been to the hospital that one time and not go to a follow-up appointment, she has not obtained any medical expenses aside from a copay that her mother paid).
I couldn't let her scam $5,000 from well-meaning people, so I shared her story across Snapchat, Facebook, and TikTok, echoing a post her aunt, Mandy (49F), had already made.
To add to this, a local food bank once dropped off food for her, but Amanda didn't even want or use it all because she was hoping for cash instead. This further convinced me that she was exploiting people's goodwill. Since then, Amanda's mother and grandmother have been blowing up my phone, demanding I apologize to Amanda, claiming I was wrong and owed her an apology.
They sent messages like, "I am sorry if you felt that you needed to comment on Amanda's post and I want you to know that Amanda is taking responsibility for her actions and you need to go to the post and say you're sorry to Amanda because you are family and fix what you said.
She is willing to forgive you for saying what you said. Please say sorry to Amanda for the family." Amanda never posted anything that I commented on, and I only shared the post that Mandy made. I don't feel I owe her an apology, but am I wrong? AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Trevena_Ice
NTA but I see where Amanda is getting her attitute from. Asking for handsout, not doing anything. I would even screenshot some of those messanges and put it under your post, saying something like 'and this is the reaction of some family about not scamming welll meaning people' Do not appolgice to Amanda. But maybe it is time to cut her and her leeching family out of your live.
The OP responded here:
unowen9819
I am not sure how to post photos, but I do have screenshots. Thank you!
Caspian4136
NTA. Expose her to the fullest extent. It's people like her and this exact situation that makes most not want to donate to these. Most of the time, people think it's a scam and sure enough, it is.
phostachio
NTA, your cousin sounds like a piece of work. I feel awful for her child. I used to think becoming a parent changes people, sends a jolt of newfound responsibility into them, gets them to get their ish together. It doesn’t.
Some people just lack drive, just rely on the goodwill of others and take advantage of it until every bridge is burned. I hope one day a switch flips in your cousin’s head and she becomes a good, responsible person, but I wouldn’t count on it.
dalealace
NTA. Misusing and exploiting GoFundMe undermines its purpose and makes it harder for legitimately deserving and desperate people. Using the cover of nonexistent medical debt is reprehensible because millions of people are drowning in actual medical debt.
Not using the food from a food bank is disgusting because it’s taking food out of the mouths of people who are actually hungry and can’t feed themselves or their families. She may just be trying to get by but you don’t do it by defrauding others.
BadgeringforHoney
I think you should apologise for Amanda. Apologise for not knowing that she clearly had terrible role models and that you didn’t expose her sooner. What are these people smoking to think you’ve done anything that requires any sort of apology?!!! NTA 1 million percent.
National_Pension_110
NTA. Grifters gonna grift. It looks like she comes from a line of grifters and hooked up with a fellow scammer. This will be their life moving forward. You can expose them this time, but know that there will be a pattern of taking advantage of family, friends, and well-meaning strangers.
Just cut that whole branch off your family tree and forget about them. Not worth your energy. You did your good deed in exposing this particular scam, but know they have dozens more lined up.