'AITA for feeding my son fruit loops at a gluten-free party?'
"AITA for feeding my son fruit loops at a gluten-free party?"
My (2yo) son and I (25m) were invited to my godson's (7yo) birthday party. For the sake of the post let's call him Tim. Background information that is important to the story.
I wasn't always the godfather, it was supposed to be my godson's uncle/his father's brother who was my best friend, but he was suddenly diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he was gone within a few months.
One of his wishes is that I would take over as Tim's godfather as he wasn't sure if he was even going to be alive by the time he was born. Long story short, I love my godson to death but I have 0 relation to his family, and we honestly have never gotten along great.
They are very political and they know I don't agree with a lot of their views so they distance themselves from me - I basically only see my godson on his birthday and some holidays and their family tolerates me for a day and everything is good to go. Today was their breaking point I guess, and for a very dumb reason.
Tim is gluten free for medical reason. His gluten intolerance is so bad it has even landed him in the hospital a few times. On the birthday party invitation, in bold lettering, it said "GLUTEN FREE PARTY."
I learned they hired a pizza truck that makes all gluten free pizzas and I was honestly excited as I love trying foods I've never had before. I don't eat gluten free foods often (the ones that traditionally have of), so I was excited fo try foods at this party that I haven't had the gluten free version of.
Here's where the problem arose. My son and I were sitting outside at one of the picnic tables the family set up with my godson and a few of his family members. My 2 year old started crying because he was hungry and didn't want to wait for food. Being a parent I have learned to always keep food on hand for him.
I took out a bag of fruit loops I had in my bag for him and let him snack on it until the pizza was ready. The family of my godson started giving me death stares. Pretty soon Tim was crying because apparently fruit loops have gluten in them and whenever he sees food he can't eat he has a meltdown.
7 years now and somehow this has never been a problem before, maybe because his condition has gotten worse lately I have no idea.
Tim ran to his parents crying how I was bragging that I could eat gluten foods and they started yelling how I ruined his big day and I was a jerk for shoving my lifestyle down his face when it is clearly something he can never have.
They proceeded to say they should have never let my best friend convince them to make me his godfather. They tried to force me to leave and at first I resisted, but eventually figured it wasn't worth it.
It's been days now and I've had no contact with the family. I genuinely do not care about them, but I do care about Tim and do not see the problem. And if it is a problem it's something I can just make sure I not do in the future? Am I really the AH???
Here's what top commenters had to say about this:
Moon_Beam89 said:
Gluten allergies can be as serious as peanut allergies. I have celiac disease and I can handle airborne gluten- but even the smallest amount of ingested cross contamination will make me sick and I’ve gone to the hospital for it twice the pain was so bad in the begining and the inflamation was out of control. Celiac disease is very serious and it sucks so bad.
I don’t really think you’re an ahole for it, because you were just feeding your kiddo, but I would do it discreetly next time and also make sure you clean up the area because of potential for cross contamination.
Gluten free foods must be less than 20 parts per million parts of gluten. So 1 crumb of a froot loop could put this child into anaphylactic shock if he’s allergic or into extreme pain and rashes if he’s celiac.
I understand that other people’s allergies aren’t other peoples responsibilities, but in the case that this was a child’s birthday party- it was just disrespectful. This kid can’t go out to eat anywhere. He can’t eat food that isn’t certified GF made in a GF kitchen.
He probably never eats anything not made in his house unless it’s certified GF packaged snacks. He can’t eat the school lunch, he can’t feel normal. Not to mention- he doesn’t get to participate in other kids birthday party cakes and what not. His parents really wanted to make his day special and SAFE for him so he would feel food freedom.
As someone who became celiac in my 20s- the change is jarring and it SUCKS. If this was an adult birthday party and you were discretely feeding your child a snack, it would be different because adults are better at handeling not getting glutened from cross contamination and also can handle emotions better of course. Also refusing to leave is kinda…. Disrespectful too.
goddessofspite said:
YTA. You took fruit loops to the house of someone who is severely allergic and you knew this. You knew he was gluten free the invite clearly stated it. Should you feed your hungry kid absolutely but there were snacks you could have brought that were gluten free. He’s a kid having a tantrum it’s what kids do. You should have been the adult and apologised and left but you refused to leave. YTA.
Klutzy-Koala-9558 said:
YTA: You know how bad his allergies are it’s not hard to pack a GF snack for your toddler. And no you don’t care about Tim because why would you bring gluten which he is allergic too to his birthday. And someone who is coeliac I absolutely detest how people don’t take it seriously.
OkCan9869 said:
YTA you were invited to a gluten free party, you shouldn't then bring gluten food. And no, you don't care about Tim, not only you didn't care of the food might get to him and hurt him but you don't care how he feels watching others eat food he's forbidden.
martyboy1000 said:
YTA bring a banana or piece of fruit. Imagine if he was a vegan and you were like my kid wanted a little steak as he was hungry. Its not your birthday and you apparently care for this kid. Hope they strip your godfather status off you. He is allergic I just used meat as an example and yes I eat meat I'm not vegan.
Spambot19 said:
YTA - GLUTEN FREE means GLUTEN FREE. Why would you think that there was some sort of exception for you?