Dad refuses to help daughter with car payment when he discovers her job; AITA?

While it's normal for parents to worry about the career choices of their children, judging your adult child for how they choose to make money (if it's safe and legal) is a guaranteed way to stir up drama in the family group chat...

So, when a 'concerned' father decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about his college-aged daughter's current side hustle, people were ready to deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for refusing to help my daughter with her car payment because she is a stripper?

I (47m) have a 22 year old daughter. She’s in college and lives on campus. I agreed to help her make car payments, since she was in school.

I was recently informed by a young man I work with that my daughter strips at a club about 40 minutes away. I confronted her on this and she said she didn’t plan to do it after she graduated, and she needed some money. I told her then work at McDonald's, not use her body.

We got into an argument, and I asked her to quit stripping and get a decent job then. She refused and said stripping was easy money, so basically I said there was no need for me to pay her car payment anymore since she is making money so easily.

She got upset and said that wasn’t fair, and that she doesn’t make enough for that. I told her to figure it out.

She told my wife about what happened, and my wife is upset by her job of choice but says it’s unfair for me to stop supporting her so suddenly over an argument. I think it’s perfectly fair, it’s my money and my decision when to cut it off.

Yikes...does this dad hear himself? In what universe does a job at McDonald's earn more than a strip club? What exactly is the definition of a 'decent job?'

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this...

DanyDragonQueen said:

What kind of a*shole tells a woman's parents that they saw their daughter stripping, as if that's any of his business to get into? Your gross coworker, who goes to strip clubs to ogle women but then tattletales on them, is the biggest AH in this imo.

Ghargoyle said:

YTA by adding conditions to your agreement after the fact. YTA for shaming your daughter. YTA for not being a man of your word.

Draiel sai

YTA. She's doing what she has to do. You may not like it, but it pays a lot better than McDonalds for fewer hours, so she doesn't have to run herself ragged while trying to study, work, and have a social life all at the same time.

Unfortunately, minimum wage has stagnated for about two decades due to people your age and older insisting that it should remain low and that jobs like McDonalds are 'entry level' jobs and should be paid poverty wages.

She would have to work 3-5 times as many hours in a much more physically demanding job to make the same money she's making now. You're asking for her to demote herself.

Like it or not, every job anyone has ever worked is selling their body and their time. How is the labourer who has a bad back by 50 selling their body any less? Also, your aid in paying her car payments wasn't contingent on her having a specific job or staying away from a specific job, so moving the goalposts now is ridiculous.

Sovrin1 said:

So in order to convince your daughter to stop stripping you stopped paying her car and now she has to strip more! Hahaha nice one dude.

Runfastkoala said:

YTA. You should’ve asked the guy you work with what he hoped to gain by telling you this. The only reason people have a stigma against stripping is because it’s where a woman is using her body however she likes, and of course men are threatened by it because they get no say over it.

If there were stipulations for the car payments, you should’ve said so before starting. Are you prepared to destroy your relationship with your child over this? Because it just might.

Grow up. If you object to her working, pay her as much as she is making. If you no longer want to support her, be a model of adulthood and kindness by coming up with a plan to ease her into covering an expense that you agreed to cover. And stop talking to jerks at work who want to stir up drama.

Mrs_Cookie_91 said:

Did you lecture your coworker for going to an indecent place?

VerendusAudeo said:

Yes, YTA. As both a former short order cook and former strip club bouncer, believe me when I say that stripping is the more respectable profession.

Just to be clear, you’re cutting your own daughter off because people are looking at her jubblies. Really think about how conditional your love is.

Looks like everyone agreed unanimously here that this dad is embarrassingly wrong. Clearly his daughter found a savvy way to make some extra cash and judging her for that is gross and sexist...

Now, who is going to yell at the coworker for gossiping to a strip club employee's father? Good luck, everyone (except this judgmental dad).