Dad warns family not to do a 15 minute prayer at his son's birthday party, 'just don't show up.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my family if they’re going to have a 15 minute prayer before my son’s birthday party dinner and lecture everyone about God, to just not show up?"
I am a single father of 3. My family (mother, sisters and grandparents) became extremely involved with the Christian church over 2 years ago. So much so that it has become a chore just to visit any of them since all they want to talk about is their religion. When we get together it’s never “how have you been? How’s work? How are you?”
It is always “when are you going to join us at church? The Holy Spirit really helped me this week. Have you read the Bible I gave you?” I try to now distance myself from them as much as I can and just spend time with my kids. Last year my mother asked if she could take my kids to get ice cream and go to the park.
Little did I know it was a church related event and my daughter quickly called me to pick them up because “a man was speaking into a microphone and people were fainting all around them and crying to god." That was the last time I let them go with my family alone.
My birthday was in April and I had friends, family and coworkers over just to relax and take time off, swim a little and play backyard games. When it came time to eat my mother took it upon herself to make a huge speech about how it was/is difficult raising a son that does not believe in religion and her testimony that god is the way.
I felt the ambience change and everyone got uncomfortable. After that I tried to blow it off and continued entertaining people that were there. That’s when my family brought out their pamphlets and began going to everyone and preaching to them. Talking to them for 10s of minutes at a time.
I pulled my mom to the side and told her that this is not the place nor time for all of that. She apologized and they left soon after. My son’s birthday is coming up and while at my mom's for Memorial Day she quickly asked me if it was ok to speak to some people about the lord.
I took it upon myself to inform everyone if they are going to act like a congregation to a child’s birthday party to just not show up period.
Everyone looked upset at me. Now I have them calling and texting me saying I should be ashamed of myself for “denying the lord to people." I honestly want to just cut them all off because these past couple of years have been insufferable.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
FoundationWinter3488 said:
NTA! I would be very offended if I attended what I thought was a birthday party and got lectured about religion. I would warn them that if they came to your home and opened their mouth about religion, it would be the last time they would be allowed to visit.
Years ago, I went NC with my mother because of her trying to force her religion on me. It took her two years to learn the lesson, but she hasn’t atempted to “convert” me since.
Lopsided_Put4682 said:
NTA. I'm an atheist in a country where most people are Christian so I completely feel your pain. I really believe in live and let live. If they don't try converting me then I don't say anything to them either.
If they just can't give it a rest I'll respond with questions like "Why does an all-powerful and supposedly benevolent god allow for innocent children to be born with terminal diseases or die from natural disasters?"
And "If I told you that I heard the voice of God would you believe me? Why do you believe someone who told that 2000+ years ago and who you never met?" so that the conversation is as unpleasant to them as it is to me and they learn that it's in all our interests to not start with such topics.
mrporterisonreddit said:
You are not wrong. NTA. True believers and respectful christians respect the homes of those that they visit. If they do not, then you show them respect by giving them distance. Lots of it until they realize they are the problem. The religion is not the issue, your family is.
BabserellaWT said:
NTA. Christian here. Her behavior is utterly unacceptable. I would be the first to tell her to stfu if I were in attendance.
Careless-Ability-748 said:
Nta honestly I would leave a party if someone started doing that to me.