'WIBTA for divorcing my wife because she cheated after her parents died?'
"WIBTA for divorcing my wife because she cheated after her parents died?"
About a month ago, my wife's parents both died in a car crash. She has been an emotional mess. We live in her hometown, so we have been seeing her family and friends often. I've been supportive any way I can, I've taken care of all house chores, and I've been there for her every day. Here's where things get messy. She has an ex. Let's call him Luke.
Luke is not just her ex, Luke is still friends with her, and her first love. They were high school sweethearts, and Luke was almost like another child to her parents. The death of her parents affected Luke a lot too.
Honestly, I didn't initially liked the fact that they were friends, but I trust my wife, and moved on from that feeling. Few days ago, my wife said she was going to go out with her family, I told her I could go with her, but she insisted on going alone.
She didn't come back until the next morning. I tried to call her and call her family members, but no one knew where she was. When she did come back, she was a mess. I asked her where she was all night. She told me she f'd up, f'd up so much. I tried to calm her down, and told her to just tell what happened and that it's OK, she can talk to me. She said she slept with Luke.
I didn't react much. I told her I need some time to think. She has apoligized so many times now. I did eventually ask her what happened. She said she met up with Luke and they were both messes. They reminisced about her parents, which led to them remembering their relationship. They were both drinking and it just... happened.
I'm so conflicted right now. My wife is probably going through the worst time in her life, but I don't think I want to he with her now. I'm furious at her.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Honestly her saying no to you coming makes this seem pre-planned.
NTA. It was never an accident as it seems she planned a night out with this guy. Choices have consequences and I could understand if your trust in her is broken.
Absolutely right. She lied about going to see her family showing it was an intentional choice.
From what I know, she was with her sister for a while and some friends, including Luke. My wife excused herself, and her sister said she didn't know where she went and assumed she went back home.
What stands out to me is you tried to be there for her and she preferred to go ‘alone’. In the end, she wasn’t just out with family and chose to find comfort in this guy. I would consider the reminiscing an excuse.
Right? If I'm grieving, I would want the person I love the most to come and comfort me. My husband would want to grieve with me.
She decided Luke is that person.
I lost three family members, including both parents, very close together. Absolute rock bottom grief. Did not betray my marriage vows. She left you at home because she wanted to be with Luke. You’ll never not know that she chose him in her lowest moment. NTA