'AITA for divorcing my husband after catching him in bed with our married neighbour and exposing her to her husband?'
"AITA for divorcing my husband after catching him in bed with our married neighbour and exposing her to her husband?"
Ok_Bookkeeper_7787
This is honestly such a mess, and I don’t know if I handled it the right way, but here we go. I (34F) have been married to my husband (36M) for 7 years. We have an 8-year-old autistic son, and life’s already been pretty stressful for both of us. I thought we were handling it as a team, like we were in this together—until a few weeks ago when everything fell apart.
We live in a small neighbourhood where everyone’s pretty friendly, and I got along well with our next-door neighbours, Emily (32F) and her husband Dave (35M). Emily and I weren’t super close, but we chatted often, our kids played together sometimes, and our husbands would occasionally hang out too.
At first, I thought it was nice that my husband and Emily seemed to get along. You know, just neighbors being friendly. But then things started to feel... off. My husband became more secretive, especially with his phone, and he always seemed to “bump into” Emily when I wasn’t around.
He’d go out for random walks or suddenly needed to “run errands” right after dinner. I noticed these little things, but I didn’t want to seem paranoid. I mean, we’ve been through a lot together. I didn’t think he would do something like that to me.
Then one day, everything came crashing down. I had to come home early from work unexpectedly because our son's school had a half-day I forgot about.. I walked in, and there, in our bedroom, I found my husband and Emily... together. In our bed.
I felt like the world stopped. They both freaked out when they saw me—my husband scrambling for clothes and Emily crying, saying it was a “mistake” and that she was “so sorry.” I couldn’t even process it. I just walked out, shaking, and went to pick up my son from school.
Later that night, I confronted my husband, and he admitted to having an affair with her for the past few months. He begged me to forgive him, said it was a stupid, impulsive thing, and swore he loved me and didn’t want to lose our family. I was heartbroken, but I couldn’t even look at him. I had no idea what to do, but I knew I couldn’t stay with someone who would betray me like that.
Then there was Emily’s husband, Dave. I knew him well enough to know he was completely in the dark about all of this. I couldn’t just stay silent and let him be blindsided like I was.
So, the next day, I went over to their house while Emily was out and told Dave everything. I even showed him proof—texts, pictures—everything I had. He was devestated, obviously, but he thanked me for being honest with him.
And that’s when the real drama started. Both my husband and Emily went ballistic when they found out I’d told Dave. My husband said I should have kept it between us and worked it out for the sake of our son.
Emily called me all kinds of names, saying I had no right to tell her husband and that I ruined her life. She even claimed it wasn’t “serious” and that I blew everything out of proportion.
Now, Dave is considering divorcing her, and I’ve already filed for divorce myself. But I’m getting a lot of flak from mutual friends, saying I went too far by telling Dave and that I should’ve tried to keep things private to avoid tearing apart two families.
I feel like I did what I had to do, but I’m questioning myself now. AITA for divorcing my husband and telling Emily’s husband about the affair? Should I have kept quiet and handled it differently?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Candid_Process1831
NTA!! You did the right thing ,divorcing you husband and telling your neighbour. This was no mistake for sure it's neen going on for a while now !! Good luck to you.
Ok_Bookkeeper_7787 (OP)
Thank's for your support ! They have been doing this for months it wasn't just a mistake !! 😔
Hunnebrown
ADULTERERS DO NOT GET TO SET THE TERMS OF HOW YOU DEAL WITH THE AFFAIR, PERIOD. How dare anyone try to blame you for your actions? How would it have been possible for you to see Dave going forward and just acted as if nothing happened?
So were you just supposed to look at Dave everyday allowing him to be made a fool of while acting completely normal? That puts some of the the responsibility of the affair on your shoulders and not theirs. Absolutely not.
You didn't ruin anything they did. Tell your friends and family that you did what you did and that you're okay with them not agreeing and refusing to discuss it with them anymore. It'll be tough, but don't let anyone make you feel guilty. I am so sorry that this happened to you.
Ifiwerenyourshoes
NTA, and tell your pos husband to listen to this. Call his family, your family, and your close friends, and let them know you are filing for divorce for those that don’t know, why you are filing you caught him and Emily in your bed. They did this to themselves by having an affair. What you say to her is you ruined your own life by sleeping with my husband.
To the rest of your friends and family who keep saying you went to far. Tell them this. Forget you, thank you for showing me you support. Now I know who my real friends and family are.
Adventurous-travel1
Funny tell your husband he should have kept his D between the two of you and for your son. Emily F her. She’s just upset her actions have consequences. As far as friends tell them you only told all parties that were involved. Which means everyone in the marriages.