'AITA for telling my mom it wasn't cute or funny to dress me as a hot dog instead of a princess?'
"AITA for telling my mom it wasn't cute or funny to dress me as a hot dog instead of a princess?"
ThrowRAhalloweendred
So there's this new Target commercial going around where a little girl dresses as a hot dog, and it came on while my family was watching a scary movie. I (20F) am home from college for the weekend and brought my boyfriend, and my mother (57F) decided it would be hilarious to mention that she'd made me a hot dog costume as a kid, except the way she told the story, it was my request.
She said that all the girls wanted to be Disney princesses, but I had asked to be a hot dog, and so she'd gone out of her way to make me that costume. This is not what happened, and I said as much.
What actually happened is that I wanted to be Snow White, and had told everyone, including the teachers, that I was going to be Snow White. I was obsessed with that movie as a kid, to the point where I would actually get invested in doing chores because I was cleaning up just like Snow White.
My dad and I would watch that movie all the time, and I was very excited to be Snow White for Halloween, especially because my ballet studio was doing a special "princess dance," for Halloween and we'd all signed up for special princess slots, and I'd shown up early with my dad the week before so I could get to be Snow White.
My mother decided that she wanted to be quirky and that Snow White was a bad role model after I got in trouble for trying to cook dinner for my family. I was about eight, and I tried to make hot dogs, like how she made food for the dwarfs in the movie, and I made a mess.
My mom "surprised" me on the day of with this crappy hot dog suit, and told me if I didn't wear it she'd never let me watch Snow White again. She took a million pictures, the other girls teased me for months, and it was one of the most humiliating moments of my childhood.
I told the real story, and mentioned that I got through the day by pretending that she was the evil queen making me dress in rags, but the rags happened to be a garbage meat costume.
She got really quiet after that, and after we left, my brother says she was crying and looking at the pictures from that Halloween. I didn't want to make my mom cry, but it's a horrible memory for me and it felt like she was trying to humiliate me all over again in front of my boyfriend.
So basically, I called my mom out for forcing me to be a hot dog for Halloween and humiliating me as a child after she brought up the story pretending I'd wanted to be. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
ILoveBreadMore
Wow, what a shit move by your mom and to an eight year old. I’m glad you told the truth and stood up for yourself. I hope she learns, jeez what a witch. I’m sorry that happened.
ThrowRAhalloweendred (OP)
I hadn't thought about it in ages until I saw that commercial honestly.
AtmosphericPresh
NTA. She clearly had a different perspective and you set her straight. Just because someone cries doesn't mean they're the victim in this. Especially if the truth is that not only did you not want to wear the hot dog, but she threatened your favorite movie as a result?
Wear this or else? Like WTF. If this is true, it's pretty weird and messed up. I'd never force a costume on my child. That's such a weird ass thing to do.
ThrowRAhalloweendred (OP)
She HATED Snow White. And Cinderella and Aurora. She was kind of okay with Belle, and really pushed Mulan and Merida on me, but those weren't the ones I was interested in.
She generally hated everything I liked, and was really into the whole "Cinderella ate my daughter" thing. She wanted us to be allies against the other moms of the town we lived in, and I just wanted her to be like the other moms honestly because they were nicer.
VeryUpsettie
Your mom sounds like a real Weiner.
LowBalance4404
I'd say let it go, but that would be so hypocritical of me. So instead, make peace with your hot dog costume, but remember your mom for white washing the memory. My mom has a version of my childhood that did not happen. AT all.
In my mom's version, it was all snowflakes, hugs, puppies, and unicorns and that is not the reality I lived. I've since let it go as to that's what she needs to remember and that's ok. It's not reality, but it's ok that she wants to remember it that way.
It doesn't change what really happened and if she needs to remember it that way, that's fine. I don't let it impact me. That said, I do get the absolute outrage for "that's not what happened". I just shrug and let it go because I decided I don't care.
ThrowRAhalloweendred (OP)
In my mom's version, I hated the other girls in town as much as she hated the other women and *wanted* to be a weird kid because she wanted to be a weird mom who doesn't like housework or makeup or dresses.
I learned makeup from a friend's mom, I learned basic house skills from YouTube, and I never had clothes I actually liked unless I asked non-her relatives for them for Christmas or my birthday. It sucked.
_s1m0n_s3z
Parents can be casually cruel without realizing it, particularly when they think they're being cute or quirky. She probably didn't know how badly she was hurting you at the time, but she absolutely did know that she was overriding your desires using parental force majeure.
Jokes between adults shouldn't be made at your kids' expense, but often they are. This is a prime example. Your mom was looking for approval from other moms and made you the butt. NTA, OP, but keep this lesson in mind with your own kids.