"AITA for 'emasculating' my husband?"

My husband and I don’t have the best relationship, but it is also not the worst. He has a habit of doing things behind my back, and I’m suppose to accept it because I’m a housewife. I cook, clean, run errands. Anything to do with domestic things is my responsibility. And I’d be fine with that if my husband didn’t throw it in my face. This being said I don’t take bs, hence why he is regularly frustrated with me.

I stand my ground and withhold my responsibility when he does the same. And he doesn’t think this is right as I apparently do nothing all day ( I barely have no free time). The issue is his parents lost their home due to terrible financial decisions. They asked to live with us and I immediately said no. I knew I’d have to clear after his parents while he goes out.

Precise, they could’ve gone to his 3 other siblings houses so it wasn’t like we were their only choice. Despite me saying no to his parent staying with us, I come back from shopping with all their stuff moved in. I’m livid and argue with my husband and he says he pays the bills so I have to deal with it. Fine.

But I’ll told him I not doing anything in the house anymore and he can fend for himself. He got cocky and thought I was bluffing. I lived up to my promise and could see he was getting more and more angry with my new freedom.

It all came ahead this weekend, when I went to the kitchen and made only enough dinner for myself. His parents asked if I can make another portion and I said no. His mum started berating me, then my husband got involved and yelled and called me a b. I simply put my airpods in and drowned him out. Walked away and ate my dinner in my bedroom.

After some time, he and his parents came to me and I could see he was speaking . My husband then lifted up my hair and saw I had my AirPods in and was not listening to a word he has been screaming. He asked if I had them in the whole time and I replied back “of course”. His dad laughed and was clearly finding this amusing. Then all of a sudden, my husband burst out crying.

Like seriously bawling his eyes out, sobbing I’m emasculating him in front of people. Me and his parents were silent and in shock by this. To paint the scene, he was crying loudly sitting on the floor, then his mother cradled him while his father looked like he was about to laugh. I thought the whole thing was ridiculous cos he brought this upon himself.

I said I don’t why he’s acting like a victim, picked up my purse and left to go hang out with my friends. The next day, my husband did not speak a word to anyone and slept all day. And looked depressed. His mother berated me again and said I’m “breaking her son”. If I’m being honest, I’m starting to think I handled the situation abit too petty.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

jnnmommy said:

NTA. He doesn’t see you as an equal in the relationship.

And ErdtreeSimp responded:

Yes this, it sure was all funny and all, and you did prove something, but op this relationship is over. He has all the control, you have NOTHING. Sure you can withhold cleaning duties lmao but he can throw you out, he has the money, you have no job, no career or future. Sry to say it like this but at the moment you're dependent on a asshole child! Get your life in order and then play jokes

Then OP responded:

Although, he is the breadwinner, I have a degree, savings and possible career to fall back on. So I’m not entirely dependant. I’m looking into divorce at the moment. Hopefully everything works out smoothly. Thank you for the advice.

4682458 wrote:

NTA. You didn't emasculate him. He did all of it to himself.

elsie78 wrote:

NTA. Sometimes you have to go on strike to make a point. That said, is he someone you want to be married to? He doesn't view the relationship as a partnership and doesn't take your opinion into consideration. Couples counseling is needed, at the minimum.

OP responded:

Honestly, counselling isn’t even needed at this point. Divorce is the only answer. I just know he is gonna drag it out though.

In response to a commenter calling her a "narcissist," OP wrote:

First of all, who hurt you? You sound abit unhinged. I bought the house, not him and he moved in and started paying the mortgage. So stop making assumptions. He asked me to be a house wife and I agreed. I have to wake up early to make him these extravagant meals all day everyday. I have to budget.

Clean our rather large house everyday. And then he host gatherings almost everyday and guess who is in charge of organising everything all the time? Me. He goes and come when he likes and leaves me dealing with issues that he decided behind my back.

There’s always an stupid ‘emergency’ with him that forces me to drop everything I’m doing, hence why I don’t have free time. When I do divorce him, I just know he’s gonna struggle cos I did everything for him. So don’t call me a narcissist, by the sound it, you seem like one.

And I think Claycastles speaks for most of us, when they wrote:

divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce for the love of god divorce

Good luck, OP!