Employee tells coworker to 'cover up' and stop dressing like she works at 'Hooters.' AITA?
"AITA for telling a female coworker to cover up?"
I (F23) work in tech, we have a pretty large office of about 50 people. Many people here are used to working from home since the pandemic, so dress code at the office is pretty casual. Jeans and jumpers mostly.
I was really worried to integrate with an actual office but it has been really chill so far. The only problem has been "Beatrice" who has worked in offices a lot longer than a lot of us younger workers have.
Beatrice is in her 50s and still tries to act like the queen bee of the office. We mostly just ignore her advice, and try to get our work done. She has an array of complaints about any number of things in the office but chief among them is how cold the office is.
We work in a southern part of the country and it approaches 90 most days even in October, so everyone in the office is fine with the AC being set at 72. With the strong fans in our office it often feels cooler.
Beatrice tends to wear low cut cardigans and pullovers and no bra. (This will be important later) She constantly complains how cold it is in the office, even though we all tell her to put on an extra layer. One day in the lunch room she said I must be so lucky to not feel the cold with my extra layer of blubber.
I have a little extra fat but I am working down after struggling with an ED. This really stung me and I said maybe she should stop dressing like she works at Hooters if she wants to stay warm. She walked stiffly out of the room. My coworker told me she heard her crying in the bathroom.
I feel bad for making her cry, but I also felt really offended she implied only a fat person could be comfortable in the AC (I dress reasonably)
EDIT: She has made multiple comments about my outfits not fitting. I am MtF and I cannot wear all the outfits in my wardrobe perfectly.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Charming_Scene2042 said:
NTA. She insults you on your weight and you fire back with an absolute gem and she gets upset about it? Beatrice needs to learn to take it if she's gonna sling it.
NothingMovesTheBlob said:
ESH. You're both professionals and you need to act like it. If there's a problem, take it to HR.
ParsimoniousSalad said:
ESH. "Beatrice, by your age, you should know that it isn't appropriate to talk about other people's bodies at work." Kidding, kidding. Yeah, she was being awful with the "blubber" comment, but you didn't have to sink to her level with the "Hooters" comment.
Brilliant-Mango-4 said:
ESH. Coworkers should not comment on each other's bodies or clothes. It is inappropriate. If clothes truly are an issue; that is where HR needs to get involved. That being said, something about comparing her a hooter waitress feels demeaning in a way that I can't quite put my finger on it.
You made a direct reference to her breasts, which clearly indicates you've been looking. That is a general no in the workplace. You better hope she doesn't accuse you of sexual harassment.
gwynmerch said:
ESH - her comment to you was very disrespectful… however, you were equally as bad by throwing back an insult. You should have walked away and reported that comment to your manager or HR.