'AITA fiancé (M26) won’t let me (F26) see his instagram messages after suspicious behavior?'
"AITA Fiancé (M26) won’t let me (F26) see his instagram messages after suspicious behavior?"
Okay so I 26F met my fiancé 26M a year ago and just recently got engaged. I’ve had some trust issues that I personally think come from past relationship issues and my own insecurities but I’ve really tried to look past them and not push them onto this relationship because he is really good to me and is a great step dad to my son.
We just have this one issue that seems to keep coming up. Back when we first began dating, he told me that his most recent relationship experience was with an instagram model that he grew up and went to high school with and they were really close and shared a lot in common and were there for each other during really difficult times in their lives but she basically friend zoned him and broke his heart.
I didn’t think much of it at the time and appreciated that he was open with me about it. Fast forward about 6 months we’re living together at this point and one night we were on the couch and I just happen to glance over while he’s on his phone and see him looking at a girls instagram account.
The girl is basically half naked on every post and you can definitely tell she’s some sort of model. I confront him about it and told him it was disrespectful of him to look at other women right in front of me and we got into a little bit of an argument but he ultimately apologized and agreed it was not right.
The next day, I put two and two together and realized it was the same girl he had told me about when we first got together. I confront him again and he confirms but says he was just “checking up on her” because she’s been ill in the past and he just wants to make sure she’s okay.
I told him it makes me uncomfortable and I want her blocked. I also state that that this is a boundary for me I don’t want broken again and I don’t want to see her on his instagram anymore. Fast forward to christmas eve, I once again glance at his phone and see her account on his. I get very upset and it was a huge argument.
He says once again he was just checking up on her and they weren’t communicating but I’m beginning to think this is some sort of weird obsession. I don’t think it would bother me as much if all of her posts weren’t inappropriate. I mean she’s a model.
Anyway, I asked to see his messages on instagram just to confirm they haven’t been talking and he said no that he’s not comfortable with me doing that and ends up just deleting all his socials off his phone, or so he says.
So yeah I’m unsure of where to go from here, I suggested therapy and premarital counseling and he agreed. Am I overthinking it or is it justified?
opbla writes:
Him saying he just wants to check on her mental health is BS. If I was suicidal the last person I’d wanna talk to about it would be some guy I friend zoned and don’t even speak too anymore. He’s just using her mental health issues as an excuse for why he wants to contact her again
ar643 writes:
You met only a year ago and already have trust issues? Why on earth are you engaged to this man? Do you seriously want to do this for the rest of your life? He's obviously not being honest. Do you want to be married to a shady liar?