'AITA for not letting my roommate's boyfriend use my car?' 'He missed a job interview.'

"AITA for not letting my roommate's boyfriend use my car, even though it made him miss a job interview?"

So I (25F) share an apartment with my roommate Jess (24F). We generally get along okay, but she started dating this guy Kyle a few months ago and he's been around constantly. He doesn’t live here officially, but he's here 5–6 nights a week, eats our food, uses our stuff, and never really contributes to anything. It’s annoying but I’ve tolerated it to keep the peace.

I own a car, which I use for work, errands, and occasional weekend trips. Jess doesn’t have a car, and neither does Kyle. Last week, Kyle asked me very last minute if he could borrow my car to drive to a job interview. I asked a few questions — where it was, how far, how long he’d need it...

...And it turned out he needed it during a time I’d already told Jess I had a doctor’s appointment across town. I said sorry, but I needed it and couldn't change my appointment.

He got pissed and said I was being selfish and ruining his shot at a “better life.” Jess backed him up, saying I could Uber to the doctor “just this once,” because his interview was more important than my check-up.

I said no. I’m not comfortable lending my car to someone I barely know, especially not for a time I already need it. I don’t owe him that. They both sulked and gave me the cold shoulder for days. Kyle apparently missed the interview because “he couldn’t find a ride” and is now blaming me for “ruining his future.”

I feel a little bad, because I could have changed my appointment if I really wanted to… but also, it’s my car, my schedule, and I don’t think I should have to upend my plans for someone who doesn’t even live here. AITA?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

77Megg77 said:

Why couldn’t he take an Uber to the interview? He should have secured transportation when he set the interview date/time. Couldn’t he call a car rental place and rent a car for the day? Enterprise will even bring a car to you. Well, they used to offer that. I don’t know if they still do.

But let’s say you did lend him your car and he goes to the interview. It goes well and he is hired. How is he going to get to work every day? Would it then be your fault if he can’t take your car to get to work every day? You were right not to lend it. What if he got in an accident and totaled it? Can he afford to replace it? No. He needs to get a vehicle and then get an interview.

Ambitious-Border-906 said:

NTA! If you could have Uber-ed to your appointment that easily, how is it he couldn’t get one to his interview?!

WolfKittenTigerPuppy said:

NTA, assuming Kyle is an adult since Jess is an adult and that there are buses, ubers, taxis, trains, people he knows better, his family, etc. You (probably Jess too) are being manipulated by this loser just based on you posting to reddit and questioning if you're the ahole here.

Be an adult and demand 1/3 for the food/ utilities/ rent or tell Jess he can't stay over 90% of the time. If you don't want to lend out your stuff you do not have to...say no once and walk away. This should not have to be said to an adult.

International-Fee255 said:

NTA. Tim to step back from this silliness. If a grown ma can't order an Uber for himself that's not something you are responsible for. Out your foot down about him staying so much (contact landlord if necessary) and about him taking your food.

It honestly sounds like he thinks he's moved in with his parents and they should be supplying everything for him. DO NOT EVER give his man or your roommate your car, they can order lifts if necessary. You are roommates, you don't owe your roommate anything except common courtesy, you owe her freeloading boyfriend even less.

Princess-She-ra said:

NTA and they're both so entitled. It's not their car. It's your car. You owe them nothing. When did it become your responsibility to get Kyle to his interview? Oh right, it isn't your responsibility.

There's also a bigger issue here and that is your roommate essentially moving in her bf without any discussion. You need to have that discussion. You didn't sign up for sharing your space with a third person who isn't even contributing. Most leases don't even allow that.

curiousity60 said:

NTA. It's past time you should check your lease about guests, then sit down with your roommate and tell her her guest is destroying your peaceful enjoyment of the home YOU are paying for. He's obnoxious.

SHE needs to rein him in. SHE can feed and cater to him with her own money. YOUR food and belongings are NOT community resources and SHE needs to make sure you and your property are not disturbed by her guest.