'AITA for making my in-laws stay in a smaller space on a vacation we paid for?' UPDATED

"AITA for forcing my in-laws into a smaller space for their larger family?"

So this story is my family (husband, me, 2yr old) and his brother's family (BIL, SIL, and three teens:18, 16, 13) So we are at Disney this week. We arrived today with our camper and rented another one from the resort.

When we got here for check in, we were told the other camper was set up, got the keys and was shown some features. It was small (I think 25ft) with the only privacy being the master bed. There is a bunk and the dining table folds into a bed.

We set up our camper (40ft toy hauler) and I'm in the middle of putting out linens, opening up the back porch for my toddler to play and getting his space set up (sleeps in the garage area) when the in-laws roll up. We all greet and my husband shows them their camper. Immediately they start down the "this isn't big enough. We are going to have issues. We really don't like this" comments.

Now we paid for the camper rental, the spots, the tickets into the park and for some upcoming dinners they wanted reserved. My husband goes into a panic and they walk into our camper and say "let's just stay here and you guys take the little one."

I said no that wasn't going to work cause our bed in the master is specifically for my back. They went on about how they can't afford Disney and it's really disappointing that all we rented was a small trailer for all of them to fit into without regards to their comfort. I came back with "it's only for sleep for your family.

I don't know if my son is going to be overwhelmed and having a familiar space for him to play and relax from the noises and crowds is why we brought ours" and they stormed out calling me an @$$hole and asking my husband why he married me. He came back to me with the fact that we don't need all of the room since its just three of us and they have 5 and all are basically adults.

So I asked a simple question, "then I get access while you guys are at Disney to be in here and relax?" (Ours has a TV and a porch with barriers for the toddler to play outside in an enclosed area. Also his toys are in here) And they said it's their private area so no. So I said no again. My husband called me an @$$hole and said our son can survive a week without toys and the porch area etc.

AITA because i don't want to sacrifice my own comfort to appease them especially since we have paid for this entire trip? The only part they had to pay for was to get here and they flew (with some assistance from my husband cause I "threw a fit about that"). AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Foofieness said:

NTA and I am horrified at how your husband is treating you let alone your in-laws. You put out literally thousands of dollars for their happiness; I wouldn't even know how to accept a gift of this magnitude. I would be crying in thanks. Please get into counseling when you get home. Individual for sure and martial if you can make your husband go. He treats you terribly and I am so, so sorry.

extinct_diplodocus said:

NTA. What choosy beggars! They get a fully paid trip and carp about it. My own inclination under those conditions would be to say, "Okay, if you don't like the accommodations, I'll return the rental and you can make your own arrangements." Your other problem is that your husband seems to be a people-pleasing (except you) doormat.

omgtuttifrutti said:

Does your husband even like you? Your in-laws can go pound sand. If they don't like the accommodations that someone else has paid for they are welcome to pay for their own. NTA.

And Otherwise-Topic-1791 said:

NTA. "Well, in order for us to afford to get you a larger trailer we'll just have to cancel all those dinners you wanted and a few of the events you wanted to do. It'll be ok. I'm sure that having more sleeping space will make up for the other things."

She later shared this update:

So after the first two days of being in the park we have had a significant Improvement of attitudes between everyone. Actually, after the first night and me posting this after my argument with them and my husband, they woke up after sleeping in the other camper and everyone had their own bed but it was cramped and the teens all came to our camper to shower since the one in theirs isn't tall enough for the two boys.

I had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with my husband about the behavior, attitude and general disrespect exhibited by him the previous day about a situation that wasn't even our fault.

Some here told me to post it in the story but we called an agency that worked with Fort Wilderness and they directly asked us about how many adults would be in the camper. Husband told them that it would be 2 adults and then the teens. They are the ones who provided the camper and said it would be sufficient for their needs without us getting to see a floor plan.

Before they left for the day, we had a "come to Jesus" meeting for all of the adults in which after the first meeting, my husband took the reigns on this and said that he wasn't going to have future vacations with them because of the disrespectful behaviors. That he did his best and going forward, if they want to have something better, they need to build a vacation savings and do it themselves.

Some commenters called me the AH and I took their advice about making some kind of compromise. I, again offered a compromise to trade for the remainder of the trip as long as my toddler and I had access to my camper. They said no. So I offered a different compromise that the kids could stay in ours as long as they were quiet after toddler went to sleep.

The 18yr old and 16yr old are both very tall (6'4") and asked to sleep in the garage on our queen and on an air mattress. They have their own access into the garage so they can come and go as they please. The toddler is sleeping with us. Now everyone kind of has their own space and the mood has improved dramatically.

I'm holding my boundary that I am not doing another vacation with the adults. The kids offered to sleep in a tent because of their parents anger at the space available in the camper. They are just happy to be here and said they would sleep in a tent or the back of the truck to not be in their parents way.