'AITA for divorcing my wife for cheating on me and then calling our daughter a loser?'
AITA for leaving my wife after uncovering her cheating?
OP writes:
I (32M) have been with my wife (38F) for 13 years, married for 10. At the beginning, everything was great; it was like the happy ending of a romantic movie. But as time passed, she started to become a bit more distant and cold towards me and even my 12-year-old child.
So I asked her what was wrong and why she was very cold towards me and our child, but she just shrugged it off. Then one night, a message popped up on her phone saying, "What are u up to, honey?" and it was from a guy called P. I didn't know P, so I checked her messages, and that's when I found out.
Fast forward a couple of days, I confronted her about it and she went bananas. She told me how I baby trapped her (no, miss, you did), she also told me how I didn’t love her, which is bull*&%t because I gave her flowers every goddamn month!
Anyway, as I was about to leave to get my child, she said, “Going pick up that loser daughter of yours,” and that’s when I lost it and said some (which I won’t say) things that were not great. After that, I just left.
Later in the evening, I talked to my daughter and asked if her mother had said anything bad about her, and she just started crying. At this point, it was the final straw. A couple of days ago, I started the divorce proceedings. So, AITA?
Here are the top judgements from the post?
xedgerunner says:
NTA (Not the A^&@ole). Divorce her and get full custody. Your daughter is not safe around that woman. No decent mother calls their 12 year old daughter a loser. Be cautious because she sounds emotionally unstable and might try to take your daughter just to hurt you, which will ruin your child's life.
Record your interactions with her and check evidence for full custody. Perhaps bring up the fact that she called her daughter a loser and record the entire interaction.
SweeperOfChimneys says:
NTA, yelling is a pretty natural reaction to being cheated on and demeaning children. So is divorce. Make sure to record her saying those things about your daughter. Will go a long way to you getting full custody.
silverskynn says:
NTA please please get this woman away from your child. My mom treated me similarly and the damage from it is something I will never recover from. The best you can do now is just try to prevent more damage happening to her.
IndigoRose2022 says:
Oh heck no, NTA. Cheating is bad enough, but being so mean to your child takes it a step further. I’m so sorry she did that to both of you.
I hesitate to say it, but I suspect the reason she was so mean to your daughter could be because your daughter started to suspect the cheating, and your wife tried to bully her out of saying anything. Please consider getting your daughter in therapy if you can, and just continue to remind her how much you love her.
DivineTarot says:
NTA. Considering your other posts are NHL and Canadian hockey related I'm going to assume you're in Canada, which makes your ex bugnut crazy and stupid. It is functionally impossible, unless you live in rural back country without means of transport, to be "baby trapped" as a woman, because you ultimately consent at least once to motherhood when pregnant.
She consented to carry her daughter to term, and then decided to blame your daughter and you for her own choices. She's evil, unfaithful, and disgusting, so she doesn't deserve sympathy for being chewed out and rejected by all parties present for her actions.
jojozabadu says:
Are you the a^*#ole for leaving a disloyal, abusive a^@%ole?
What do you think? Is OP right to divorce his wife?