Friend cancels international trip after extra people are added, 'I know none of these people.' AITA?
"AITA for canceling on an international trip because my friends added extra people to the travel group?"
So I was planning a trip to Japan and South Korea next May with three good friends that I had known since high school (we are all 26). I had bought the flight tickets already as did my friends and we were in planning mode.
One friend said one friend would be joining us for a few activities (who I don’t know) because he would be in japan around the same time. Ok cool, he has his own itinerary so I wasn’t too worried about that.
Then yesterday I learn that three other friends of two of my friends are suddenly being added because they wanted to come along, they are buying their plane tickets soon, and they will be with us the whole time. I know none of these people. And I literally had thought it would just be 4 of us.
I got really annoyed by this and told them that it will be challenging to travel as a group of 7 (and sometimes 8 with the other guy) and I frankly do not feel very comfortable traveling with 3 strangers to a faraway country and sharing rooms. They said it won’t be a problem, they’re very chill and we can even book different rooms and I can share with the friends that I know.
I still didn’t feel comfortable. I don’t know them. I don’t know how they travel. I don’t know if they are problematic to travel with. And it is kind of a logistical nightmare to plan a trip consisting of 7-8 people. The group call we had yesterday to plan was incredibly annoying because there were soo many people putting in their two cents and opinions and at that point I had had enough.
Today I got a refund for my plane ticket and told them that respectfully, I would be bowing out of this trip but I hope they have fun. My friends got really surprised and also upset. I just don’t want to spend thousands of dollars on a trip that will be either a headache or potentially filled with drama. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
frauleinsteve said:
NTA. Trust your instincts. continue saving up your money and have another trip down the road....hopefully one that is fabulous and amazing.
leidomi said:
NTA. It’s quite rude to just add people to a trip without asking and checking that everyone in the original plan is ok with it first. You’re perfectly valid for not feeling comfortable to travel with strangers.
Strange_Jackfruit_89 said:
NTA. I’m not a big fan of group trips anyway. I’d absolutely not be okay with that many extra people being added. Especially without the consent of the original group. What if these people are a pain to travel with?
They could be big complainers, messy, unhygienic or etc. Not to mention what if they wanted to do different activities than what you already had planned? Is everyone going to do their own thing? Too much instability there.
I did a “group” trip once and it was horrible. The group wanted to stay together the entire time but bc of that, we didn’t actually due much. Because others didn’t want to walk too much or wait in line, etc. so basically I paid for a trip where I didn’t do anything bc of everyone else. In hindsight, I should have just gone and done my own thing, but I was a lot younger and didn’t want to argue.
Wise_woman_1 said:
NTA. You expressed your discomfort and it was dismissed. Traveling with others is a challenge while it may have been fine, with people going their own ways for meals and tours, then meeting up here and there.
If you have 7 people trying to agree on a time and place for a meal or someone is going to be upset because you really have your heart set on seeing one place and don’t get to because of unexpected delays caused by others it sucks. Maybe look at solo tours. I have planned several of my trips a la carte, with guided tours for my first day and free time for the rest of the time.
igramigru101 said:
Nta. Plain and simple, 4 of you made a plan. They changed it without consulting with you. You don't like new plans, you back out. Reasons you mentioned are irrelevant. You don't want to change original plan. Period.
spoonfulofnosugar said:
NTA. I backed out of a group vacation for the same reason. It started as 3 of us, all friends from college, taking a relaxing trip to a cabin to catch up. I was excited because I hadn’t seen these friends in a few years.
We start planning and next thing I know, it’s 9 of us sharing 2 bedrooms and a pull out sofa. I’ve never met 6 of these people. And they want to party like teenagers all weekend. Oh and we’re all in our 30s now. I noped right out of that. Not my scene, and 2/3 of them were not even my friends.