Friend of the groom gets called a 'pick me' for rejecting bridesmaids attire; AITA?
Part of being a bridesmaid is wearing a dress you'll never wear again, almost fainting at the altar because you casually starved in full hair and makeup all morning, and doing a few things you might not want to do...
Would you normally go out of your way to take your friend and a bunch of her family members on a vacation where you have to wear matching bathing suits? Probably not. So, when a conflicted bridesmaid decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about clashing with the bride's vision, people were ready to deem a verdict.
AITA for accepting to be a bridesmaid?
My (25f) best friend Mark (25m) is getting married to his fiancée Natalie (25f) in August. Natalie asked me to be her bridesmaid two months ago and I gracefully accepted although I was kind of bothered Mark didn't ask me to be a groomswoman, but I didn't voice it to them because I didn't want Natalie to get mad at me.
Anyway the past few weeks we've been going bridesmaids dress and shoes shopping until the bride finds something she likes for us. She said we can pick the style of the dress as long as it is long and in lilac color.
I don't like any of the stuff I try on since I never wear dresses and I've never worn high heels either. All bridesmaids found their dress and shoes except me.
Natalie has been personally assisting me in order to find the right fit yet I don't like anything. After looking up I decided to ask her if I could wear some platform shoes I have and a lilac tube top with wide tailored pants.
She asked to see the look and seemed to consider it at first but then changed the mind and said no. Dress and high heels. She said my look looks like a corporate/office look not a bridesmaid one.
I explained to her that I hate wearing dresses and high heels and idk why I should have to. She said that I knew her requirements for the bridesmaids since day one and if I was uncomfortable with those requirements why did I accept on being a bridesmaid in the first place.
I told her I'd rather be a groomswoman instead and not a bridesmaid since I'm not into girly things and after all Mark is my best friend, not her.
She took great offense to it and told mark and mark got into an argument with me and said that I owe Natalie an apology and how they're not doing groomswomen and he tried to convince Natalie to take her as a bridesmaid to feel included yet I insulted Natalie with my words and behavior. AITA?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
DiamondHeist1970 said:
Oh wow. By the sounds of it she was very very patient with you. You do realize this isn't about you? She's letting you pick and choose a dress and you couldn't - suck it up buttercup.
OwlBig3482 said:
YTA. The groom already told you flat out HE asked for you to be included, you weren't her pick. Natalie has already been more than patient with somebody she didn't even initially include in her bridal party.
She couldn't ask somebody else important to her to stand up with her at her own wedding because her fiancé asked for you to be included and you can't suck it up for one lousy day? Grow up.
ThomzLC said:
YTA I don't think its unreasonable for her to expect her bridesmaids to be in a dress. If you want to keep this friend maybe learn that the world does not rotate around you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
starboyp1 said:
Giving major pick me / I'm not like girly girls vibes. YTA.
starboyp1 said:
100% a pick me.
Forsaken_Whereas_353 said:
Are you for real? You’re making it about you. It is THEIR wedding. Good on Mark for standing up for Natalie. NTA for accepting but YTA for your behavior.
Murky-Moose3043 said:
YTA. Why o why you are making things difficult for the bride? You said yes to be a bridesmaid and yet there you are complaining about wearing dress and heels. Natalie is gracious enough to help you but no…you still complained.
So, there you have it!
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this bridesmaid is hilariously in the wrong about this whole situation. Does she have a crush on the groom because the lady doth protest too much to wearing lilac. Good luck, everyone...this bacherorette party is about to be awkward.