Friend refuses to split the cost of a group gift, 'I wasn't included on the card.' AITA? 'I'm making it AWKWARD.'

"AITA for not being willing to split the cost of a group gift when I wasn’t included in the card?"

One of my friends got a new job recently and some my friends decided to get her a little gift. I was in the group chat where it got brought up, but I was super busy with studying and didn’t say much. A couple people were throwing around ideas and I figured they’d update us later.

Well, last weekend they gave her the gift which is an Airpod pro and posted a little photo of her holding it with a card. I didn’t even know they picked something already. I also wasn’t asked to sign the card or even told when they were giving it to her.

Then that same night, one of the girls Venmo requested me $20 for my “share.” I asked what it was for and she said, “the gift, obviously,” like I should’ve just known. I told her I didn’t get to sign the card or even know what they picked, and she said it didn’t matter because I was part of the group and it’s just what we all agreed to. But like...

I never agreed. I don't think I was included. I wasn’t even asked...After that they are saying I’m making it awkward and that it’s not about the money, it’s about celebrating a friend, but I kinda feel like I was treated like an afterthought and still expected to pay. AITA?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

BoogieKnights9 said:

NTA - Whoever bought the card should have given it to you to sign.

savannahkellen said:

NTA. If your name wasn't on the card, I would assume that you weren't a part of it. Even if your group is a close friend group, I'd assume that you being left off was deliberate. It's objectively shitty that they didn't even add your name in for you knowing that they would want you to pay - how are your friends excusing that?

CasWay413 said:

NTA, you should have a say in what your money goes to. Being in a group while they make offstage decisions doesn’t automatically rope you into those decisions.

Mapilean said:

NTA. They are taking advantage of you. The same happened to me, it was a gift for a coworker who got a promotion (a pink Mac PC, because she likes pink!) and I was never even consulted about it.

When they came to ask for my share I said that I hadn't been involved in any of it and would not pay my share of an expensive gift. I also told them that the way to do things is collect money from people and decide on the gift based on the money raised.

Trevena_Ice said:

NTA. You were not an after though, you were the ATM that was included in the chat to give money, so they can celebrate with the friend. It should be in groups for presents to at least say...

"hey, we are planing to get a present, who is willing to spend x to y amount of money for it' and or give the info at least at the end" "we decided for present ab and will give it to friend then and there. Would love if you can come and sign the card."

Ok_Public_1233 said:

NTA. I didn't agree, I will not pay. I was not asked to participate and I did not agree to contribute. Bye.

Tasty-Dust9501 said:

NTA. Yes it is about money why would you put your money into something you weren’t included in? Being in a group doesn’t mean you give up your autonomy and automatically agree with all the decisions of other members.