'AITA for rejecting my friend's request to have an open relationship with my husband?' UPDATED
"AITA for rejecting my friend's request to have an open relationship with my husband?"
I (30F) have been married to my husband (32M) for five years. We have 2 beautiful kids (5m and 6f) and have a very strong relationship and are happy together.
Recently, my “friend” Lisa (29F) confided in me that she has developed feelings for my husband. She said that she finds him attractive and admires our relationship, and she asked if we would consider having an open relationship so she could be with him too.
I was shocked and told her no, explaining that my husband and I are committed to each other and that we are not interested in an open relationship. Lisa got upset and accused me of being selfish and closed-minded. She argued that modern relationships should be flexible and that I was denying her happiness.
Since then, Lisa has been distant and has been spreading rumors in our friend group, suggesting that I am overly possessive and controlling. This has caused a lot of tension, and some of our mutual friends are now taking sides. My husband is supportive of my decision, but I feel guilty for the drama it has caused.
So, AITA for rejecting my friend’s request to have an open relationship with my husband?
Edit: This attracted a lot more attention very fast then I thought it would, I’ve read most of your comments and I think tomorrow I will talk to the whole friend group about it and I’ll update after.
Here's the advice people had for OP:
NTA, serious, open and shut. Send her a link to the tinder app.
Lisa is NOT your friend.
This has to be fake
ImAStan4You OP responded:
I really wish it was
The only way that you could be the AH in this situation is if you don’t tell every member of your social group what Lisa did. At present you are allowing her to dictate a false narrative. Stop her from doing that. Ask any of your mutual friends if they want their partner’s sharing Lisa’s bed?
Update from OP afte reading the comments:
After reading some of your comments, I decided to bring the group out for coffee and I told them all about what Lisa said and the REAL story. I also showed them this post.
After showing them, there were 2 girls that were still on Lisa’s side, so I took some advice from the comments and said “let Lisa **** your husband, then you can be on her side” after that everyone was on my side thankfully.
Lisa wasn’t happy at all and she started ranting about how it “wasn’t fair” she “just wanted to experiment something new!” and “It wasn’t even that bad of a request, your making it such a big deal!” Which I didn’t get.
Me and the rest of the group have officially cut contact with Lisa. Just hoping she doesn’t try to reach out. Will update if something happens.
Also just clarifying that Lisa also asked my husband for an open marriage, he also rejected saying that “even if I was I would never want to go out with you.” I’m thinking of cutting off the ladies that were on Lisa’s side for so long. But I’m not sure if they heard a different story or not. So should I?