Man tells GF her apartment decor is 'terrifying'; refuses to invite guests over.
Decorating your home or apartment is a way to show guests who you are. Art, furniture, and nic nacs are all small ways to convey your interests in a cute way. Not everyone will always understand your choices in decor, and sometimes it may interfere in your romantic and professional life.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A%#hole Subreddit, a man tells his girlfriend that her decor choices are inappropriate for an adult woman.
He writes:
I’ve (M32) been with my girlfriend (F29) for over a year. She’s intelligent, funny, a bit quirky, and has a serious job with a good salary. We have a great time together and generally get along very well. The only thing is that her home decor choice is bizarre, frankly, and not something you think an average grown adult would be into.
Her apartment is a reflection of herself and her interests. Not in the best way, though. My girlfriend has a wall dedicated to animation in one room of her apartment, like Futurama pieces and etchings of some weird triangle guy. Then there’s the wall of framed preserved insects in another room.
But not insects like butterflies or moths. Instead, she displays tarantulas, beetles, and giant stick insects. Her bathroom has a subtle theme of the ocean-pretty common. But instead of starfish or shells, she has a little anglerfish nightlight, a miniature vampiric squid painting, and then a framed diagram of what apparently is a Goblin Shark right by the toilet.
I would say a majority of her home decor and furnishings are okay. The apartment itself is very modern and sleek. The random decor and juvenile-ish themes, like cartoons, insects, and bizarre ocean creatures, are off-putting.
This is where I might be the AH. I avoid bringing people to her place, especially from my job, because of how juvenile it looks. Everyone’s impressed when they see the high rise, but that quickly fades once you enter.
When I brought a work colleague over, they told me they found her insect wall terrifying. I work in finance and appearances, and first impressions are important.
My office will hold casual gatherings where we get together for drinks and good food and rotate hosts. And this time, it’s my turn. My place is under construction and not ideal, so I’ve been staying with my girlfriend. My girlfriend suggested that we host my colleagues here since she has the space and thinks it’ll be fun.
I told her I planned on skipping my rotation and seeing if the next person would be okay with hosting early. She kept pressing on why I didn’t want them over here, so I finally said it was because her home decor was strange and not something a grown woman would have, and also that her insect wall horrified the one colleague that did come over.
My girlfriend got mad and said, at the end of the day, it’s not my space, and these things bring her joy. She also said that she is indeed an adult woman, which is precisely why her apartment is decorated in such a manner.
I love my girlfriend. I do. And it’s okay to have different interests. But does an adult need to decorate with them besides a few things here and there?
I mean, my mother asked if my girlfriend was autistic after she saw the entire apartment for the first time. So Reddit, AITA, for telling my girlfriend her home decor is why I won’t host a work gathering at her place?
The internet is confused by some of OP's arguments.
thecatinthemask says:
INFO: What age children usually have preserved tarantulas and vampire squids as home decor?
ParsimoniousSalad says:
YTA. So you don't like her interests. You don't have to be judgemental about it. Your only experience bringing someone over was that they were 'terrified' of the insect display. So this person and your distaste convinced you that everyone would be terrified?
You don't need to bring your work colleagues over, but if you yourself look down on your girlfriend because of her interests and how she chooses to decorate, maybe you shouldn't be with her.
mumoftheweek says:
YTA. Your girlfriend sounds cool.
OP, don't yuck someone's yum.