"AITA for getting rid of my GF's new cat?"

My gf (29) and I (30) have been together for about 5 years now, and finally agreed to move in together since her lease is up next month and I love her. I recently bought my house, and since she's lived in places with no pet rules, she asked if she could finally get one as a move in present, and I readily agreed. I also love pets, and figured this would be a good thing for both of us.

My only condition was No Cats. I have nothing against them, in fact I had one for three days myself right out of college, but I had to give her back because I could barely breath and my skin turned a different color because it was decaying (she slept on my leg, and the contact is what caused this).

I have what's called a "prolonged exposure" allergy, where I'm ok for a couple of hours around the cat, but when the allergy does it, it hits hard and is super bad. I have no clue if it's all cats or just the one cat, and so I've avoided having them ever since.

I explained this to my gf, and she agreed. Two weeks go by, no issues as she unpacks and gets settled. I figured another few weeks, let everything die down some more, and then we'll go get a dog, or a hamster, or maybe a bird. I'm not picky, I love animals. I leave for work, and when I come home, there's a damn kitten trying to rub against my ankle.

I try to not freak out, thinking it was a stray my gf found and she was just housing it until the shelter opened tomorrow, but no. My gf spent $300 on a kitten because "she's so cute, and so friendly!"

I put my foot down. Yes, the kitten is cute, but I refuse to have an animal that could kill me in the house. I told her that she has 3 days to take the animal either to the pound or back to the store when it opened on Monday, or I will.

Welp, Tuesday morning, kitten was still there, adoption paper had been destroyed by her, and so I had had enough. Already had breathing problems, so I did some research, gathered up Mittens, and took her and all of her things to a local cat sanctuary.

The guy who took her understood completely, happily accepted the donations (I even threw in some cash, since he's doing good work rehoming these sweeties), and promised that such a sweet friendly kitten would quickly be rehomed. I did think while gf was asleep, to ensure she wouldnt stop me.

My gf burst into tears and left for a friends house. She demands an apology before she comes home, and while most of our friends agree I was in the right for my safety, I should have at least let her say goodbye. I say that the cat shouldn't have been there in the first place, I gave her the option, and so she's the one who owes me the apology. AITA, or was she?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

wobblebase said:

ESH. The correct action was to dump the GF and let her take the cat with her. Not dump the cat and keep the GF.

teresajs said:

NTA. I love cats, but your GF had no right to put you, and the cat, in that position. You should also rehome your GF. She doesn't respect you or have any care for your health. Instead of apologizing, pack up her stuff and ask when she wants to come get it.

tinyahjumma said:

NTA. Honestly, she sounds like the kind of person who would try to feed her grandchildren a deadly allergen because “it can’t possibly be that bad.” There is something very deeply troubling about her decision making process here.

TheShadowPho3nix said:

NTA. I'll be honest OP, I am a die-hard cat lover and came into this fully ready and willing to rip you apart over this, because the thought of someone doing this to me with my cat enrages me truly beyond reason.

But then you explained your allergy, and as someone who has a life-threatening allergy to peanuts, that fact changed everything. The fact that your GF *IGNORED* this allergy (especially after having it's severity explained to her) and adopted a cat behind your back is a galling lack of respect for not just you, but for your health and well-being as well.

You don't owe her a goddamn thing, and the fact that she could so easily put your health at this severe a risk? I would at least start seriously questioning the future of your relationship with her, if not break up with her outright.

And suzyqknits said:

NTA. I love animals and my cat is like my child. But you told her beforehand "no cats" and had a completely valid reason why. You also gave her a few days to handle the situation herself and she didn't. I'm no relationship expert (far from it), but this seems like a major red flag, even after all this time together. Why would she do something that would likely cause a major health issue for you?

Edit from OP:

So, just for timeline clarification. Found out about the kitten Friday the 15th. This happened this Tuesday, the 19th. I had my entire place deep cleaned by my friend, who owns a cleaning company, Thursday.

The patch of skin on my stomach is still cracked, discolored, and leaking blood and puss everywhere, despite me keeping it clean and bandaged. I'm seeing my primary care dr Tuesday, and planning on the ER if it gets worse.

Still trying to decide what I'll do about the gf. She still technically has two weeks left at her old apartment, so I'm tempted to just hire some movers to take her furniture back there and call it on this relationship. This isnt the first red flag, though it's for sure the largest.

But after talking it over with my friends, and having them help to point out a lot of other sh!tty things she's done that cant just be chalked up as mistakes, yeah. I'll give yall another update if anything happens in the next day or so, but yeah. Sucks, but at least in this case I'll live.

He later shared this update:

Went to urgent care this afternoon, and I've got a pretty bad infection, despite my best efforts. On antibiotics now, but not what I needed to be dealing with atm. So, I went ahead and told her I'd need my key back, and she'll have to pay to get some movers in to get her stuff out of my place. After reading through a lot of comments and talking to friends, this relationship has to end.

I told her this, she freaked out and immediately drove over, trying to apologize and beg for me to let her stay, since she apparently already turned over the keys to her other apartment two weeks early and ended the lease. First thing I did was show her how bad my stomach still was, she threw up, and while she was doing that I took my key off her keyring.

I let her in to pack some of her things, and it hurt to watch her cry as she packed over "a dumb cat" (her words, not mine), but then still told her to GTFO. I posted a picture of my stomach in the group chat with all of our mutual friends, and they very quickly turned on her.

She's no longer allowed back at the friend's place where she was staying, which means she'll have to find a motel or something until she finds other accommodation. I guess they didnt know my allergy was that bad, and now that they do know, they're pissed.

Cherry on top, the guy who runs the cat sanctuary called to let me know Mittens has been adopted to a wonderful family, and he doubled with some laywer friends of his. In my country, if you dont have proof of ownership, then the cat is legally a stray, and no one owns it.

Since my gf, who moved here from America, destroyed the papers and had never taken the cat to the vet, Mittens was free to be adopted to anyone who would take her. So hopefully Mittens has a good, long, healthy life.