Man kicks out girlfriend after she smashes young sister’s gift in jealous outburst. AITA? + UPDATE
"AITA for calling my girlfriend childish and telling her to leave after she intentionally destroyed a gift that I got for my little sister?"
meVgfRedditacc
My girlfriend *Megan and I stay together. She had a fight with her parents and asked if we could move in together so we did. Not too long ago, I had to take my little sister in. I can't disclose much except the fact that I was her only option.
When we had the talk about me having to take my sister in, Megan did not like the idea. She told me that I was too young to have such a responsibility, what will happen when we get married and have our own kids, our place was too small etc but didn't outright say she had an issue with it.
I obviously couldn't turn my back on my sister so I went ahead with it despite her reservations. Although my sister has always been friendly to Megan from the moment she met her, Megan is always just indifferent. And it sucks because my sister really admires her and enjoys talking to her. I just thought maybe they don't connect because of my sister's age.
A month ago I bought my sister a switch, she has always wanted one and all her friends have it. I figured she deserved it as she does well at school, helps with chores and is generally a well behaved kid. She loved it and she has been taking good care of it. Megan wasn't happy when I bought it, she actually sulked.
She would borrow the switch incessantly and my sister would not say no maybe because she was afraid to? but Megan would use it so much that it felt like it belonged to her.
My sister never said anything, she would just patiently wait for her turn. Sometimes Megan would use it even when my sister was at school saying that she gets bored when I'm at work.
All this made me uncomfortable, so I asked her to please tone down on the switch as it's unfair on my sister, it was her gift. Megan agreed although it was clear that she was upset, she gave us the silent treatment for the rest of the night. Last week when I came back from picking up my sister from school after work, we found her switch broken.
And that's putting it lightly, it looked like it was deliberately smashed. My sister was distraught. When I asked Megan wtf happened, she told us that she accidentally dropped it and it broke.
It was obvious that she was lying and when I pointed that out and all the other times where she seemed to have an issue with an eleven year old for no reason, she got annoyed and told me that everything was fine until my sister moved in.
I called her childish and asked her to please pack her bags and go back to her parents house because I need space and time to think. This only made her more annoyed but she eventually left.
Her best friend texted me last night to tell me that I was an AH for kicking Megan out because on top of everything else, I know how rocky her relationship with her parents are. Does this make me an AH?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's initial post:
Sebscreen
NTA. She isn't your wife, she does not get a say in your decision to take your sister in. And she is quite frankly a despicable person for bullying and intentionally hurting an eleven year old who looks up to her.
On top of that, she sounds like a terrible partner too. You work and let her live rent free and she does nothing all day but play on the switch and bully your sister?
And look at that... The first time you stand up to her BS and she already ran to her friend vilifying you. Dump her like radioactive waste. And tell her friend to eat glass; if she cares so much, she can take on the insufferable burden that is your ex.
meVgfRedditacc (OP)
I spoke to her beforehand to let her know so as to not take her by surprise. I was really taken back by her reservations but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, not everyone welcomes change easily and she is an only child who doesn't understand what's it's like to have siblings.
But I see now that she is not a very nice person because who would have an issue with an eleven year old that looks up to you and is just happy to be in a stable environment?
And to go as far as destroying something that she cherished and then lying about it. She just seems unstable and I don't want her around my sister anymore. She wouldn't survive living with her friend, she always trash talks her smh.
Sebscreen
Change the locks and save any message she sends begging or demanding to come back so she can't lie that you were abusive.
Four days later, the OP returned with an update.
meVgfRedditacc
I just wanted to write an update on what happened after I posted. When I kicked Megan out, I already knew that there was no way our relationship could continue. After reading the comments on the post, I knew that I needed to officially end the relationship and not leave things hanging.
I only said to her I needed time to think because I wanted her to leave without a fuss, she had already caused enough trouble. I hadn't spoken to her since what happened because I was ignoring her texts.
Some of them telling me that she missed me and wanted to come back 'home'. I decided to text her to arrange a meeting. She told me to come over to her friend's place because she only stayed a few days at her parent's place.
When I got to her friend's place, I told Megan that the relationship is not working out for me and it's best that we break up. I said I don't see myself getting over the fact that she intentionally destroyed something that meant a lot to my sister over her irrational jealousy.
Not to mention that she never really opened up to my sister which should have been enough for me to end the relationship then. My sister deserves to be around someone who is willing to form a relationship with her.
I had the rest of her stuff and proceeded to give them to her. She started crying and pleading then accusing me of choosing my sister over her, I clearly never really loved her, she knew that this would happen after my sister moved in.
I just said to her this is exactly why I'm breaking up with you. I also told her that she really needed to reimburse me the $300 for the switch that she 'accidentally' dropped because my little sister is heartbroken over it and has been sad about it ever since.
She rolled her eyes and told me that she already said it was an accident and that it's not her problem anyway since I don't want to be with her anymore. I didn't feel like continuing to argue with her so I told her to never contact me again and left.
When I got home, I blocked her everywhere. I am relieved that she is out of our lives but I'm very disappointed in myself that it took something so drastic for me to see that Megan was not a good person.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
DetroitSmash-8701
Change locks if you haven't already to your place. Also, probably want to get a camera for your vehicle. After she did something like that, nothing should be considered being off the table for her to do. Protect yourself and your sister for that matter.
Radiant_Western_5589
She’s more likely going to put her energy into finding a new person to glom onto. She knows op won’t get rid of his sister so he’s not worth getting back with… hopefully.
bronwen-noodle
I can’t help but wonder what kind of insecure person picks a fight with a literal child like this.
Difficult-Thanks-
She showed you she’s an insecure pick me in some imagined competition with your little sister, and you believed her. Good for you! You’re an excellent brother, and I’m sure you will find someone that makes you happy and cherishes your sister 💚
meVgfRedditacc (OP)
Thank you and to be honest, I'm not in a rush to find someone. I just want to focus on making sure my sister is alright.