'AITA for giving my sister a wedding cake made by one of my assistants?' 'I am not rich.'
"AITA for giving my sister a wedding cake made by one of my assistants instead of making her one myself?"
My grandmother made wedding cakes for everyone I knew growing up. I learned how to do everything from her. I would make roses out of playdough while she made them from fondant. My sister was never interested. I have turned my memories of my grandmother into a business.
I make wedding cakes. And I charge a fair bit for them. As an example my base price is $8 a slice. So if you have 100 guests you will be buying an $800 cake. One of my base models. In return you will get a delicious cake with piped decorations.
At $17.50 a slice you get my top notch work. Hand molded flowers and the whole deal. Yes I know it is expensive. Nobody is forced to buy one of my cakes. There are many very good bakers in my city.
My sister is getting married. It is kind of a last minute thing. She came with my mom to talk to me about making her wedding cake like two weeks ago. Very last minute. I said there was no way as I had other clients that were ahead of her. My mom got mean and said that I had to do this. After a while I relented. I love my sister even though she is an impulsive pain in the a$s.
I said I could do it for about $1,000 for what she wanted. That is much less than I would charge anyone else. There is no profit in that at all. She wanted a very elaborate cake with a lot of decoration.
OH HELL NO IT'S GOING TO BE A GIFT. I do not give gifts that expensive. I am not rich. I will have to eat the material costs and the wages for my helpers as is. I did not want to argue any more so I said that I would make her a basic cake. Still very nice. I did not budge. I do not negotiate about losing money.
I actually though about outsourcing to a really great Filipino baker I know that could do it cheap. It would cost me $300 and I could concentrate on my clients. I ended up just letting one of my apprentices do the cake. It was for my sister so I double checked everything. And I did the decorations on the top tier. The one the couple saves to have on their anniversary.
The cake was a hit and many pictures were taken. I told them NOT to mention that I did the cake. It was not really up to par. They did not listen. I had a client that knew my sister.
She asked and I was honest. My sister found out she got a cake make by my helper. It has caused a huge fight. I think it would have been better if they had just gone elsewhere. They are pissed that I did not spend days sculpting the cake just for them. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
hellcoach said:
NTA. Your mother and sister are acting so entitled. Making it free and with tight time constraints are already huge asks. Since the cake was a hit anyway (before the truth came out), kudos should be given to your assistant for a job well done.
DestronCommander said:
NTA. They wanted a cake. The "negotiation" ended up it being your gift for the wedding. The cake was made by your apprentice and but with your finishing touches. The cake still came from your bakeshop. At no point did anyone say you had to PERSONALLY make the cake from beginning to end.
DivineGreekGoddess said:
NTA, your sister is entitled to demand an over $1000 cake as a gift. Not to mention, many of the apprentices are very skilled and talented and always help out on grand cakes because it’s just too much work for one person especially on very short time. You actually had paying clients’ orders to take care of. Your sister sounds ungrateful and like it was a joy growing up with her.
sraydenk said:
ESH. Family sucks for assuming you would make a cake for free. You suck for outsourcing the cake without telling them and gifting them a cake you don’t want to be associated with. If it wasn’t up to par and you didn’t want linked to you, then you shouldn’t have provided it.
It’s not like you can control every guest from taking a photo or talking about the cake. If it was truly inspected by you and up to your standards you shouldn’t cake if you are linked to it.
CelesteMarie73 said:
NTA with a slight E S H - you are running a BUSINESS. Your sister can't realistically expect you to drop everything for a last minute wedding when you already have other clients scheduled. That's just a ridiculous ask.
That said, why were you "honest" when the client asked? There was no reason to be. I would have just been very vague about the whole thing and said something along the lines of "Yeah, so glad we were able to help my sister out with such short notice." You say it wasn't "up to par."
I hardly think one slightly "sub-standard" cake is going to ruin your reputation if you're as talented as you say you are. And, if it did, you could brush it off by saying, "I made the cake she requested."
(And, ultimately, that's true - she requested a wedding cake and you provided one) and leave it at that, but the likelihood of something like that happening is slim to none. To a large extent, you created your own problem here.
MasterpiecePlenty595 said:
NTA. First of all your familiy‘s way of thinking is kind of twisted. If you were my sister, my thought process would be: I have a wedding, my sister makes beautiful wedding cakes. Instead of paying some other baker, I’d rather pay my sister to bake my cake.
If she doesn’t want to pay you the amount you usually ask for for your cakes, then she can go to another baker. But expecting you to lose money is just absurd.
Delicious-Ground-237 said:
ESH. Your sister and mother for asking on short notice, obviously. You for causing drama. Yes, your family came too late with the request. But come on, did you really not expect them to ask you?
You could have easily been more proactive, offered to make a cake (on whatever conditions) as the wedding gift and just avoid this whole show. And there was really no need to cause drama afterwards by telling them someone else did the cake when it was an employee.