'AITA for going on a vacation instead of a cousin’s child-free destination wedding?'
"AITA for going on a vacation instead of a cousin’s destination wedding (child-free)?"
My wife’s cousin got married this summer. Good for her. We sent a gift when we got the invitation after noticing it was going to be child-free and in another country. I think it’s her second or third wedding so I’m sure we will attend her next one and make it up to her.
My wife and I discussed it and we concluded that having 2 daughters under the age of 10 that it would be difficult to attend. It would also be difficult to get passports for them in the short period of time we had if we were to try to bring them. Even with both of those concerns my in laws started pressuring us to reconsider just a month before the event.
My wife started looking at last minute prices for just us and it was outrageous between airfare and the resort they were staying at. I made the comment that for HALF the price I could take the entire family on a Disney vacation.
And here is where I screwed up: that same week, we took our daughters to Disney world for a fraction of what it would have cost us to attend the cousin's wedding. We loved it, the girls loved it, but then the in-laws saw social media pictures and threw a fit.
EDIT:
Just to clarify, it’s my mother in law who is pissed off we didn’t attend the wedding and instead went on vacation. The cousin doesn’t seem to care either way, but my mother in law is obsessed with appropriate behaviors and appearances. Thank you for your positive messages and support.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
LearnedButt said:
NTA. disregarding all else, the bottom line rule is if you have a destination wedding, you can't get mad at people not attending.
TheBoss6200 said:
NTA. BS tell them you have kids and you were not leaving them to go out of the country for a child free wedding. Your in-laws are being aholes.
Neonpinx said:
NTA. Child free destination weddings are meant to reduce the amount of guests that can come. If they wanted all extended family to go then they should have had a local wedding that children could go to. Glad you got to enjoy a family vacation with your children.
Serinaty said:
NTA - asking people fly out of the country for a wedding is ridiculous expense. If they have the money and time great but most people don’t and should never be expected to put themself in debt for someone else’s wedding. If the bride and groom paid for the expenses that would be a different story.
SnooWords4839 said:
NTA - In-laws don't get a vote in how you spend your time and money.
CleanJune said:
NTA. Asking people to spend a fortune to travel for a wedding is ridiculous, especially with young kids. You made the right call by going to Disney instead. Your in-laws will get over it.