'AITA for refusing to replace my daughter's graduation photo with my husband's?'
"AITA for refusing to replace my daughter's graduation photo with my husband's?"
My daughter (18) graduated high school and I hung a photo of her graduation party on the living room wall. She wants to go to a community college and will live with me and her stepdad while doing that.
My husband recently earned his master's degree and yesterday, he showed me his graduation photo that he framed and prepared to hung. I asked where we were gonna hang it and he said the living room.
I said 'great! right next to Amy's graduation photo then'. He said not next to it but instead of it.
I was puzzled I asked why and he said that he didn't feel it was right having his graduation photo, a master's degree be hung next to a high school graduation photo, a high school degree. He said that both photos have 'different weight and value' and suggested I take my daughter's photo down and hang his instead.
I was fuming because he refused to let her photo be hung anywhere near his and by that he has claimed the entire wall. I refused and said this photo has been here for months! and my daughter deserves to have it on display for encouragement. He got upset and said that I was making it a big deal and could instead just use the hallway hall or something but I refused.
We had an argument about it and he kept insisting on having her graduation photo be taken down and not be hung on the same wall as his due to difference in degree value and weight and also he thought that a high school photo isn't hang-on wall worthy and called me inconsiderate of his feelings.
He says it's disrespectful to him and his efforts and said that I'm choosing this 'hill' to die on was ridiculous. AITA (Am I the as*hole) for choosing this hill to die on?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
NTA - this could have been a lovely "family achievement wall" and your husband ruined it by being an AH.
Throwaway624335 OP responded:
You're right and this was my suggestion as well!
Low-Assistance9231 says:
NTA I'd hang it right over the toilet where his attitude belongs.
aabbccbb writes:
Can we also talk about how cringe this is? Like, a mother hanging their child's graduation photo? Totally normal. I have a Master's and am just finishing my Ph.D. Would I ever, in a million years, hang a graduation photo of myself, let alone on a big wall in my living room Jesus christ, no.
No-Refrigerator-1814 agrees:
I'm just sitting here wondering what kind of weirdo gets graduation photos for a Master's (or PhD) professionally done and framed? I have snapshots of me and my family and friends from my PhD ceremony. They got posted to Facebook back in the day and live on a writable CD somewhere. Framing your diploma is pretty normal - but even then it's usually in your office/home library, not in the living room.
Calpernia09 comments:
So since I accomplished a lot in my life, I can NEVER acknowledge my kids accomplishments? What kind of logic is this? We hang kids first scribble next to the art we choose for our walls. We encourage every milestone as they go. Each builds who they are.
OP, your daughter is going to school, she has so much more to go. Either your husband is a huge jerk or, hopefully, he's having an issue about something else and taking it out on this. This IS your hill to die on. ABSOLUTELY
Sassy-Pants_888 adds:
Sounds like he's jealous OP had a life before him and is trying to obliterate it by slowly replacing her treasured items with his own accomplishments. That he can't share a wall is telling.