Groom calls off the wedding after bride 'yells BACK,' 'YOU'RE TOO SENSITIVE.' AITA?

"AITA? Fiancé called off the wedding after I yelled back..."

My fiancé (29M) and I (23F) were supposed to get married in May 2026. We had a loving relationship (or so I thought), but we struggled with communication. Whenever I expressed concerns or hurt, he’d take it as an attack and raise his voice. Recently, he’d started saying things like, “WHAT TONE? YOU’RE JUST TOO DAMN SENSITIVE.”

The morning of my bridal appointment, I woke up in our apartment and couldn’t immediately find him. After calling his phone, I found him in the bathroom so I waited. About 15 minutes later, I really had to pee and asked him to hurry, only for him to casually say he’d been done for a while but was just watching a 45-minute YouTube video.

I was frustrated and told him it felt inconsiderate for him to use our only restroom for TV or leisure when I was on the verge of an accident. He got defensive, saying he had headphones in and didn’t hear me calling him.

I tried to explain that it hurt my feelings when he didn’t consider me, but he started yelling saying I always ruin his day and piss him off. I repeatedly asked him to stop, but he wouldn’t.

I finally snapped and yelled back, “I asked you to stop yelling at me BEFORE I YELL BACK BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE." After I yelled, I immediately started apologizing and taking it back but he just said “I’m leaving." This was 30 minutes before my fitting.

While I was trying on my wedding dress, he texted me calling off the wedding (see screenshot). I collapsed in the shop, devastated. When I got home, I told him that if we both took accountability and worked on our relationship, we could still be happy. He coldly responded:

“I don’t want to be with you. I don’t want to marry you. I love you, but I’m not willing to try.” I begged him not to throw away our future, telling him he was my best friend. His response?

“Well… friends come and go.” Then I noticed he had a voice memo recording. He admitted he was recording our breakup “to cover [his] ass in case [I] lie and say [he] did something.” I think it was advice that his parents gave him that he took to heart. That hurt more than anything.

I told him he could keep the apartment since I planned to move back to my home state. The next day, I stopped by with my best friend to grab clothes. He pulled me aside and said: “You can still come home if you want. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch… also, you are still paying your part of April rent, right? I mean, you ARE still on the lease.”

I should also mention that his sister pulled me aside a few months ago to warn me that their whole family thinks my fiancé has undiagnosed bipolar disorder that he is not willing to acknowledge, accept, or treat. I didn’t believe her at the time.

So, AITA for yelling back after being pushed to my breaking point? Because on one hand, I’m watching the future we built crumble before my eyes. On the other hand, I don’t think a real man would leave his fiancée crying in a bridal shop and then ask her for rent money.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Superb_Remote_8437 said:

NTA. I think you dodge a massive bullet. It’s a blessing that it is over. I don’t agree that you are both in the wrong.

Uncoordinatedmedia said:

NTA but this is called reactive abuse/gas lighting- he knows how to get you mad and then flips it on you for being upset at what he did in the first place. Leave this man, you deserve better and also seek some therapy because he sounds horrible.

dinkidoo7693 said:

NTA - he wants a woman who will do what he wants when he wants.
This isn’t bipolar or anything else. This is him being a selfish, controlling ahole expecting you to be submissive. The fact he would rather end things because you shouted back, than work on it shows you that you have definitely dodged a bullet.

Comfortable-Focus123 said:

NTA - Read back what you wrote here - why in hell would you want to marry this guy?

StayBusy9306 said

YTA to yourself for wanting to try and work on a relationship with this "man". Treat yourself better have some standards. Run don't walk away from this man...and take some time to be single if this is the type of guy you are dating you need to work on yourself and your self respect. Learn to be happy alone and you won't be as willing to put up with abusive partners.

D3M0NArcade said:

NTA. No, you didn't have a loving relationship. A loving relationship means FINDING ways to communicate. I struggle with it because of mental health and can sometimes be a d to my wife when I'm in a dark place but we always work it out and she knows from my actions I'm not doing it intentionally. Your "fiance," on the other hand, is egotistical, narcissistic (I can be at times so I recognize it) and controlling.

He will only ever be loving to you if you're under his control. Your reaction was not unjustified. It was too damn long in the making. You should be thanking him for ending it. Not worrying you did something wrong.

Content-Purple9092 said:

Oh girl - you have dodged a bullet. He is gaslighting you and is a controlling jerk with the emotional capacity of a gnat. Take time to heal and maybe go to therapy and find yourself then find someone who is capable of an adult relationship.