Groomsman refuses to participate in bride's prank during the ceremony. AITA?
"AITA for not wanting to do the prank the bride is asking me to do during her wedding ceremony?"
I (23M) am one of the groomsmen for my best friend's (35M) wedding. His fiancé (33F) is a known jokester and likes pulling pranks that doesn't affect anyone beyond making us laugh. Stupid, funny things like this that she'd go out of her way to do to make us laugh. It's never anything harmful, and the farthest she's ever gone was "accidentally" destroy the groom's sh$tty Toshiba laptop, and surprise him with a brand new modern Alienware one that he had been saving for two years for (she backed up everything and only destroyed the screen, so stuff could still be salvaged just in case).
Pretty sweet stuff, honestly. My friend is a bit more of the serious, logician type so she balances him out a lot. He finds her antics pretty amusing too, probably a driving factor in their relationship. Sorry for all this preamble, I'll get to the point. So, neither of them really care for the ceremony aspect of a wedding. They're going to get a courthouse wedding, and save the money for a nice reception with only close friends and family. There's going to be three witnesses (me, the BM, and the MoH), and the wedding will have at most four-five more friends and some of the groom's family.
The bride was all for this as she can get really anxious in big events like this, but she still feels like it's not something to really "write home about". So, she wants to pull a pretty notable prank by having a dramatic objection or something during the ceremony. Since I'll be the only single one there, she wants me to do the objection thing, seem like I'm going for her, and then--plot twist!--vie for the groom.
Then she wants us to do a sword fight for his hand??? I wish I was joking, but she and the groom actually have a sizable sword collection, and she said she'd get her MoH to sneak two of the smaller ones. The MoH (who was there while the bride was talking to me) interjected and said it was a stupid idea.
Relief. She'd get fake swords, since there could be issues in smuggling actual weapons. Plus, she'd run it by the officiant and whoever else she'd have to at the courthouse to make sure not too much of a commotion was created.
Stress. I, admittedly, am a bit of a doormat and didn't outright say no at first and I was hoping the MoH would say something. Then, I realized I needed to pull my big boy pants and say no. Which, I did! Yay! They weren't happy, and not in an angry way, but in a way that made me feel immediately guilty. Not yay. I stupidity offered to think of a different joke to pull.
They've added me into a group chat where I've constantly tried reiterating how I didn't feel comfortable with the pranks and they'd try to reassure me, trying to get me to reconsider. The MoH is calling me an ahole for not following the bride's wishes, as are one other mutual friend who the bride talked to about this. It's getting harder and harder to stick to my no. So, AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
IrrelevantManatee said:
NTA. This is a weird thing to do, and you are not comfortable with it. Even if your friend normally ok with his bride's prank, nothing guarantee he'll appreciate it on his wedding day. Better safe than sorry. She'll have a lifetime with him making pranks anyway.
Correct-Jump8273 said:
That is the dumbest "prank" I've ever heard. I would be pissed if I was at a wedding & that happened. I would actually get up & walk out. The bride us a jerk. NTA.
Fearless_Spring5611 said:
NTA. Unless groom has the precise sense of humour to find this hilarious at all points, it will be poorly received by all. And I wouldn't want to get mixed up in this embarrassment.
Own_Lack_4526 said:
NTA. Pretty sure she's going to have trouble with a courthouse wedding getting a judge to agree that this cute. Actually, that could cut the conversation short. Call the courthouse yourself and find out if they'd even allow something this dumb.
wlfwrtr said:
NTA Ask her and how does the officiant feel about you wasting his time for a prank that's not funny? Keep saying NO. If bride wants to pull this she can easily invite another person to the ceremony who'd be willing to do that.
Make sure you keep screenshots of all the chats where you say no you won't do it because when this blows up they'll throw you under the bus. Besides it doesn't matter if swords are fake if one person perceives them to be real then the law says they are. It's no different than robbing a store with a fake gun.
Nobody_asked_me1990 said:
NTA. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but there was a story on here a while back where someone objected at a wedding as a joke and somehow they made the ceremony unable to continue even though the groom was in on the joke. The bride was devastated and the wedding funding was wasted on a ceremony that couldn’t continue. The whole day was spoiled and non refundable.