'Head of the household' removes unemployed roommate's access to amenities, 'she refuses to pay rent.' AITA?
↵"AITA for removing access to certain things for my roommate that refuses to pay rent?"
I'm the only one on the lease and the head of the household. I take care of all the bills, including the late fees when my roommates are late or just refuse to pay. I have a "roommate" that moved in last August to help with rent and other bills. It's now April of the following year with no payments towards rent.
She has 3 kids (between the ages of 3 and 8) with 2 different baby daddies, which I'm often not made aware when they're coming to visit despite being told that she needs to tell me beforehand, and she only has the youngest full time. She lost her job shortly after moving in and has since refused to get another one, stating that she can't work and take care of them.
In October I gave her a 30 day notice which included a forgiveness for past due rent as long as she left. After the 30 days she stated that she wasn't going to leave and I couldn't make her because "she's been there long enough" at that point it was only a couple months.
Since then these are the following actions that have been made, to which she has complained about to our other roommate who use to be her friend (he stopped when her actions threatened his housing).
Removing access to our WiFi. To which she stated "I saw this coming but this affects the kids! What are they gonna do now??" Removing all the dishes and kitchenware. We paid for them and whenever she did the dishes (or had her oldest do them) there would still be food and grease on them and I'd have to wash them again before even using them.
Removal of the microwave after telling her multiple times to keep it clean especially after her kids use it. It was often disgusting and now hardly works. She eventually got her own plates and microwave in her room. We thought about locking the fridge and freezer as our food has gone missing multiple times.
Install cameras in our rooms as some small items have also gone missing. Since her refusal to move out, she has been banned from dollar general due to theft, refused to find work or follow the rules, has more than tripled our electricity which was $30 prior to her moving in and almost $200 in the winter, wont contribute to anything, and we had to have a fourth roommate move in (which we don't have the space for) just to cover her rent.
My landlord is aware and refuses to take action. I believe that when you have kids, they are entirely your responsibility. They are also the only reason I didn’t take further actions to have her removed in the winter.
Due to the kids being involved, it has made me feel bad when pursuing actions and has been the main reason for the delay of said actions. However they can't be used as a crutch to guilt trip people into allowing you to do whatever you want.
And the freeloader has absolutely no remorse for her actions. So AITA for refusing access to certain things for the freeloader? And does anyone have any advice that could help resolve this situation?
Here's what people had to say about this one:
kimba-the-tabby-lion said:
YTA for letting this go on this long. Evict her. If you want to give thousands to support single mothers, please do so - but this isn't the way.
Stranger0nReddit said:
NTA but holy hell why on earth have you not involved a lawyer and started a formal eviction process?
the_greengrace said:
YTA for not just evicting her after she didn't pay the first time. Taking the dishes and locking the fridge and installing cameras all to avoid just doing the obvious. Evict her. She obviously doesn't care about any of the other things and she'll stay until the police march her out. So do that.
religionlies2u said:
NTA but honestly the only way forward if the landlord refuses to act is to inform your landlord that you will be leaving when the lease is up. Then he can deal with the squatter directly. Right now he’s got no motivation bc you’re still paying. Is it fair for you to have to be the one to move? No but consider it a lesson learned on letting people move in with you. No good deed goes unpunished.
Tangerine_Bouquet said:
NTA for not providing anything to a freeloading non-paying person in your space. You're probably going to need to make this the landlord's problem to get anything done. That means giving your notice and moving, probably. I'm sorry. It sucks for you and any other, reliable roommates.
First consult a lawyer to see if you have eviction procedures available to you. It may be only the landlord who can proceed that way (although it's unclear). If you have a lease/agreement with this person, you could go to court for the money, it just may not be an eviction through proper channels, which is what's needed at this point.
wlfwrtr said:
NTA. Contact an attorney to begin eviction then if you know the names of the baby daddies or even her parents contact them to tell them that the children will soon be homeless due to their mother's refusal to pay rent they are in the process of being evicted. This way at least you are doing everything you can to help the children.