Hosts changes BBQ time to avoid friend's 6-year-old 'tiny tyrant,' 'he is CRUEL to animals.' AITA?
"AITA for switching BBQ time to avoid a tiny tyrant?"
I love cooking and every now and then I invite my friends over, throw something tasty together, and we all hang out. This past weekend, the weather was perfect , so we all wanted to do a BBQ. Well, I decided to move the time from midday to the evening. Because one of my friends always brings his 6-year-old, and I physically, emotionally, and spiritually cannot handle this child.
I usually don’t have a problem with kids, but this one? This one is different. This one is cruel to animals. My friend had to re-home his own cat because his kid wouldn’t stop hitting it. And my friend? Does nothing.
Acts like bringing his kid to social gatherings is a babysitting break for him. Even though there are only dudes and no other children. And heaven forbid you mention the kid’s behavior. Then you get the whole “You don’t have kids, so you wouldn’t understand” speech.
Well, I do have a dog. A rescue, who’s sweet but shy, and definitely not a fan of loud noises or children. So when I host, I want it to be a safe space for my dog. So I moved the BBQ to the evening.
My friend got mad, because he couldn't come because over some bedtime drama with his kid. He thinks I’m excluding him. And okay, yes. I am. I’m excluding his demon spawn for the safety of my dog and the sanity of everyone else.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Viera_Speech6144 said:
NTA. Your house, your rules! Your friends kid is a terror, and he does nothing. You moved the bbq to protect your dog and your sanity.
DogwoodWand said:
NTA - Remember that if your dog defends himself, you and he pay the price, not the bad parent or the child who doesn't experience empathy. An incident can result in increased insurance rates, or even non-renewal, or even your dog being put down.
Tell this guy that your vet or insurance agent or mother or whoever you get your advice from made it very clear that until the child outgrows hitting animals, you just can't have him over.
CantRespond_Berry0-0 said:
NTA! Honestly kids don’t have to be at every event. It’s okay for it to be just you dudes. I bet the child is probably bored since other kids aren’t there. Your other friends are probably happy those two weren’t able to come! Maybe in the future you can mention how it would just be nice if it’s a kid free hangout.
AdPrevious6839 said:
Children who hurt animals are showing a symptom of a serious mental health disorder. It's your home, your rules, NTA.
Andravisia said:
NTA. You are responsible for your dog, he is responsible for his child. Honestly, I'd tell him the truth. Forget about his feelings - it needs to be done. Because there's a quote about parenthood that he needs to hear...
"If you don't raise your child, someone else will - and they won't be nice about it." Mommy and daddy might be lassiz-faire parents, but ain't nothing going to help the child when it pisses off the wrong dog and gets their face bitten off.
If your friend gets offended at what you are saying - that is his problem to get over, not yours. You shouldn't have to make yourself feel small to protect his fragile ego. He's raising a bad kid, he needs to do something about it.
repthe732 said:
NTA. If the guy doesn’t want to find a babysitter then he needs to accept that he won’t be able to attend events sometimes.
repthe732 said:
NTA. If the guy doesn’t want to find a babysitter then he needs to accept that he won’t be able to attend events sometimes