'AITA for expecting to be invited to an ex coworker's wedding after doing her a favor?'
"AITA for expecting to be invited to an ex coworker's wedding after doing her a favor?"
I had a friend from a previous job get engaged and asked me for a favor. I left that previous job to work at an upscale hotel. She asked me to get her and her bridesmaids discounted hotel rooms. I was able to swing about 10 suites for a very decent price compared to what they would normally sell for.
Now her and I weren’t as close since I left the previous job we both worked at but we would text frequently, just couldn’t see each other due to conflicting work schedules.
Timeline was honestly pretty rushed, she was engaged and was soon to get married less than 2 months later. The whole thing was expedited since her fiancé was in the military and soon to be on deployment. The way she said it is she couldn’t accompany him unless they were married.
Her and I are talking and I had asked what the theme was for the wedding so I knew what to wear. She awkwardly said I wasn’t invited. I was surprised I wasn’t invited out of at least courtesy for doing her a favor with the wedding block.
She said she just couldn’t afford to include anyone else. It wasn’t a small venue either. Her invite list alone, not including the grooms, was over one hundred, varying from close family, friends, and very distant relatives.
I let her know I didn’t understand since it was such a large, lavish event how she couldn’t squeeze one more person. She said it was impossible and they were at the top of their budget.
I said if that was the case then they would need to find other accommodations for their wedding as I was giving them an extreme discounted rate due to our friendship. Now the bridesmaids are calling me the ahole for cancelling their rooms. AITA?
Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this hilariously petty wedding drama. Here's what people had to say:
Change_contract said:
Torn between NTA and ESH, going with NTA. Random people dont get to use your work benefits for a discount. Friends and family, sure. She made sure you knew you weren't top 100 friends, so why help her out.
Bbell99 said:
I agree with NTA. Whether you're good friends or not, there's some quid pro quo involved. If they are good friends, OP should get invite to wedding with no expectation of a gift at a minimum.
If they are just acquaintances, the bride should have been upfront with giving a token of appreciation. As it stands, this sounds like the bride is taking the favor and sayin' 'see ya!'
higaroth said:
NTA. Mates rates only apply to mates, and mates get invited to the wedding.
hibernativenaptosis said:
NTA. She can't have it both ways, if you're important enough to ask for a big favor like that, then you're important enough to warrant an invite. The nerve of that woman.
Majestic_Spread3964 said:
I'm going with NTA. You did her a huge favor and she should be appreciative. I guess you were the only one that thought you two were friends.
WittyButter217 said:
NTA! Something similar happened to me. A “friend” was getting married and asked me to make 100 cake pops for the wedding- as a favor because we were friends and that would be my wedding present.
Fast forward to the NIGHT before delivering cake pops, she tells me I was no longer invited because she was over her guest limit. I said, “oh, no worries, since I’m not invited, the cake pops aren’t a present. That’ll be $350.” She tried to negotiate a lower price so I upped it. She ended up spending nearly $500 for those cake pops.
Pixiedust027 said:
NTA. You did her a favor as a friend. Since she confirmed y’all aren’t friends then the favor is voided. You did nothing wrong.
Luckily for us, the post was edited later to include more details...
I want to clarify that if this was a small ceremony with just close family and friends I wouldn’t have been as hurt.
We haven’t been as close as we used to so I wouldn’t have disagreed. The matter of hand though is when it comes to inviting a hundred people, that I wasn’t even considered on the list seems disrespectful.
I’m the general manager of the property, my boss is the owner of many other properties. As long as we exceed our projected revenue for the month then all is well. The rate I was offering was not a standard group rate but significantly lower. About $100 a night for the suites.
After the blow out, I heard from one of my old coworkers that was invited to the wedding that before everything went sideways, the bride was bragging on how much money she was saving with my discount and how it can be put into more expensive decorating, flowers, ect. So not inviting me because of budgeting seemed like a poor excuse after the fact.