Hypochondriac makes spouse drive him to the hospital, 'I filed for divorce the same day.' AITA?
"AITA for filing for divorce because my husband made me drive him to the hospital?"
Long story, sorry in advance. You know the saying about straws and camels...well, this is the one that broke mine. We have been married for 3 years and together for 7. We have been having marital issues for the past year and there's a lot of lows and very few highs.
I found out I was pregnant in December. When I was about 4 months along we ended up moving closer to our families, which happens to be his home town. He knows everyone and therefore, when we moved back here he ended up "catching up" with all his buddies every weekend and some days during the week and would stay out until 1am-5am whenever he did.
And then, he would come home drunk and expect to be entertained by me because he wasn't ready to sleep yet. It caused massive issues. And I still can't look at him the same.
Our daughter is now 3 months old and up until last month he was still going out and partying all hours at least once a weekend, though he stopped going out during the week. I ended up threatening divorce at that point and haven't worn my ring since. But....He got better.
Actively tried. He hasn't been out once since that point and has been essentially kissing my a%s when it comes to all else (like I haven't had to lift a finger 90% of the time to cook or clean because he does it).
And despite me seeing the effort and knowing that he's actually trying, I think the damage was already done because I still can't look at him the same after he spent months partying constantly and leaving me alone with a wool pulled over my eyes. Anyways, he is a hypochondriac.
So on Friday he got a headache randomly and it threw him in to a panic attack and he kept saying he thought it was a heart attack or an aneurysm.
He told me I had to drive him to the hospital. I told him no and he needs to call an ambulance because not only was the snow coming down thick outdoors and I didn't feel safe driving with our daughter in the vehicle but his truck is also a POS and half the time when you're driving it says "low power" and stops working properly.
As soon as I gave my reasoning, he snapped. He screamed at me to bring him to the hospital now and to stop being a selfish a%ole ("I could be having a heart attack and you're giving me excuses why you don't care").
So...I drove him. It took me 40 minutes to get there (it's 15 minutes away). And when we did get there, I dropped him at the entrance to the ER, parked, grabbed my daughter and started walking.
He yelled from the door to ask what I was doing. I told him I'm leaving. He said "let me call my mom to come get you guys", I said "I'm not getting in the vehicle with you or her actually.
Do not call her because I will not go with her." I started walking to the library (maybe a 1/4 mile, all side walks). Well, his mom shows up and stops beside me and says "get in." I told her no and made it clear that I had told him not to call her.
She said "I said get in, you're being childish right now." So I kept walking, went to the library, called my mom and had her come get me and filed for divorce the same day.
He was served the following morning. I'm being called every name under the sun by his mother because "he could have died and you're more concerned with having to drive him to the hospital. You're selfish and don't deserve my son or his daughter."
(She does know he was partying excessively but she's a 50s woman and says "well he was working and deserved the breaks"). AITA? ETA: He was fine. It was neither a heart attack nor an aneurysm. It was dehydration.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
NearbyWeekend908 said:
You're fine. The audacity to not make your newborn a top priority would have been enough for me to make that decision. Anyways he sounds like an idiot, the heart racing part of this where he thought he was having a heart attack was actually an anxiety attack because he was dehydrated and malnourished lmao. Tell him to grow up and take care of himself. His mom is an idiot also.
SophiaIsabella4 said:
NTA Good on ya for recognizing abuse and refusing it, best of luck on your new journey and take good care of and be kind to yourself so you are strong for your daughter. Hugs.
Gadzooooooks said:
NTA...You're doing the right thing.
angelmakr9 said:
Oh ffs I'm in my 50's and I'd never make excuses for my child saying, "well they work hard so they deserve it," that's some BS!! Hell I'm angry for you OP! Good on you for recognizing your worth and doing what's best for you and your daughter! NTA.
1000thatbeyotch said:
NTA. He could have called his precious mother to come carry him to the hospital or called an ambulance if he honestly thought he was dying. Instead, he risked everyone’s safety because he didn’t drink his water like he should have.
Lucky-Guess8786 said:
NTA. It sounds like it's about time your backbone kicked in. You have to protect your daughter and this would be a terrible environment for her to be raised in. Get your divorce. Be happy. Raise a happy child. In the end, that is the best revenge on an A H ex. Be happy.