'AITA for refusing to cancel my vacation to pay $10k for my brother's emergency tooth surgery?'
"AITA for refusing to cancel my vacation after my brother demanded I pay for his “emergency” surgery instead?"
True-Strawberry-9409 says:
So, here’s the situation. I (30F) have been planning a two-week vacation to Europe with my partner for the past year. We’ve both saved up a lot of money for this trip, and it’s a big deal for us because we’ve never been on a major vacation together before. The flights, hotels—everything—has already been paid for.
Last week, my brother (35M) called me in a panic, saying he needs emergency surgery for a dental issue. It’s not life-threatening, but his tooth infection is bad, and it needs to be dealt with soon. He doesn’t have insurance (long story involving bad financial decisions), and the procedure is going to cost about $10K.
He asked me to loan him the money, but there’s no way I have an extra $10K lying around after paying for this vacation. When I told him that, he got mad and said I should cancel my trip to help him, since “family comes first.” He even suggested I ask for refunds on the flights and hotels, as though that would magically solve the problem.
I told him I felt bad for his situation, but I wasn’t going to cancel a trip we’d been planning for a year over his poor financial choices, especially when this isn’t a life-or-death situation. He lost it, called me selfish, accused me of abandoning him in his time of need, and got our mom involved. Now, my mom is pressuring me to cancel and help him out, saying it’s “just a vacation” and I can always reschedule.
But I don’t think it’s fair that I should be expected to sacrifice something I’ve worked hard for because my brother can’t handle his own responsibilities. AITA? Is he lying about the cost to drain me of my money or something?
Here are the top comments from readers of the post.
noplaceinmind says:
And how much is mom contributing, since she's butting in?
imothro says:
"My deposits are all non-refundable. So sorry bro, I can't help you this time. Hope it works out for you." Then maybe consider distancing yourself from all of these abusive people. NTA.
mutualbuttsqueezin says:
NTA and even in the US I have a hard time believing this will be 10k. Removing a tooth is not 10k. Removing a tooth and getting an implant is not 10k. Sounds like your mom can help him.
susanbarron33 says:
I used to be a dental assistant. There is no “emergency” that is $10K. A tooth extraction with bone graft and implant don’t cost anywhere near that much.