'AITA for missing my family reunion after they were okay with letting me be homeless?'
"AITA for choosing my roommate's business over a big family reunion after how my family acted?"
nomoreofficedogs writes:
About 3 years ago, I left my ex. He was not a horrible guy or anything, but I was unhappy. He was obsessed with a video game and did some weird things on it, we had a dead bedroom and he would not work on it, and we just shifted into roommates really. I did not have enough saved for my own place, but I knew if I did not leave, I would end up stuck.
I asked members of my family if I could stay with them until I had things figured out and had a plan for roughly 1 month, up to 2 months. They all declined, so I lived in my car for a while. My family is big on pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, no handouts, accept the consequences of your choices, etc., so I was not surprised. I did not have local friends to ask.
Thankfully, after a few months, my high school friend Penny moved back to town and invited me to be her roommate, and that is where I am now. Now for the conflict. My mom asked me what I was doing in August because they were trying to get everyone to Florida for a family reunion. They had made reservations and things under the assumption I would go.
A while ago, Penny asked me if I could help her out at her craft fairs this year. She does 10 to 15 of them, and it is a big to-do. She sells gorgeous jewelry and ceramics. I gladly accepted.
I told my mom that I had plans over the summer and would not be able to come. She got angry with me and asked me what plans could be better than a trip to Florida. I explained what I would be doing, and she scoffed. She told me that this was probably the last time we would all get to be with some of the older family. She said I have no sense of familial obligation.
Suddenly, there is a family obligation for me to pay to travel to Florida and spend time with people who would not even help me out when I needed it. I went to family dinners where, at the end of the night, I would leave and go sleep in my car in the Walmart parking lot, and nobody blinked.
I brought that up to my mom, and she immediately said that my own bad choices are why I ended up living in my car, and they were not required to coddle me as a grown woman. I said it goes both ways.
She said I was being a petty brat. I ended the call. My sister later called me about it and asked me what my problem was and why I am still holding ancient grudges against the rest of them, and how this trip was supposed to be a big reset for the family.
I do know that there are a few members of my family I probably will not see again if I do not go. This is the main reason I wonder if I am just holding onto hurt or if it is “justified” for me to do this. AITA for not going to the family reunion and picking my roommate instead?
Here are the top rated comments.
Personal_Valuable_31
Tell her: A vacation at this time is a financially poor decision, and you have no inclination to make another bad decision where you may need help and can not count on family. This trip is not something that you budgeted for it was sprung on you at the last minute, without even asking if it was feasible for you, and you have prior commitments.
Mysterious-Region640 says:
I’m sorry, I know it’s not the point of this post but I can’t help it, who in their right mind goes to Florida in August, on purpose?
angelicak92 says:
If my family were okay with me sleeping in a car to get out of an unhealthy relationship, then I'd never speak to them again - mother and sister included. For my children, they know that when they're older, they can always come home for any reason and that their friends can always find a home here too. That's what family is, not whatever fake show pony f%&#ery your relatives are on about. NTA.
Awkward-Bother1449 says:
NTA - I've got to say, you have very strange family dynamics. They invited you to family dinners, but were happy to see you sleeping in your car. You on the on the other hand, were happy to eat their food and appear like part of the family, while being shut out in the cold. I'm not saying you deserve each other, but IMHO your family has messed up values.
What do you think?