'AITA for cutting off my friends because they are uncomfortable with teenage girls?'
"AITA for cutting off my friends for what they did to my daughter's friend?"
Sad-Variation-5044 writes:
All fake names. My husband, Keith, and I have been friends with Cindy, John, Travis, and Janelle for almost 12 years now. We have five kids (16, 14, 12-year-old twins, and 9). Cindy and John have two girls, 9 and 5.
Travis and Janelle have six kids, ranging from 10 months to 16. So typically, all summer long, everyone is here with all of the kids every weekend, and sometimes for weeks at a time, since my husband and I own a private lakefront property. It's always a pleasure.
But this year, our 14-year-old daughter had her friend "Hannah" over quite a bit. Hannah is misguided. Her parents are addicts. She doesn’t know how to do much for herself, doesn’t pick up on social cues, and dresses... not so appropriately for a 14-year-old. But she's a delight. She's fun, respectful, and she calls me mom.
Honestly, my daughter has come out of her shell drastically since Hannah has been around, and I will take that as a win because my daughter has been bullied severely in the past and was on the verge of self-harm. Hannah pulled her out of it. So yes, I’m very protective of this girl. I love her as if she were my own child.
Well, this past weekend, everyone was here, including Hannah. We had a bonfire going, and the girls had music on. They were dancing and acting like teenagers, and I thought everyone was having a good time. But my daughter approached me around 8 p.m., saying that Hannah was crying and wanted to go home. I asked why, and she told me to go ask Hannah.
Anyway, I found her, and she was hysterical. She told me that Cindy said she had been there long enough and needed to go home because her husband (John) was uncomfortable with the way she was dressed, given how she was dancing, and didn’t want their daughters around her. So, because John was 'uncomfortable,' Hannah needed to go home.
To make matters worse, the other adults apparently agreed with Cindy and started telling Hannah how inappropriate she was. So, everyone there ganged up on her the moment my husband and I walked away. I completely lost it. I went to the yard and told everyone to pack their things and leave—they were no longer welcome.
Everyone was caught off guard, and when I snapped and mentioned Hannah, John stepped in and tried saying, "You have to understand where I’m coming from. I’m a grown man, and I don’t need some half-dressed teenager dancing around me. I certainly don’t need my daughters thinking that’s okay."
(Turns out, Hannah was 5 feet away but was dancing and asking people to dance with her). I held my ground and told everyone to leave. Half their kids were already asleep in tents, so they begged me to let them stay until morning, as most of them had over an hour's drive. I said absolutely not—pack everything and go. They eventually did.
My husband thinks I may have been too quick to react here, though he agrees they were wrong about Hannah. I don’t think I was, though. AITA?
Here are the top comments:
ImaginaryWorld851 says:
NTA. You did the right thing protecting Hannah. Your friends were jerks to a vulnerable teen. They ganged up on her and made her cry. That's not cool. You stood up for Hannah when she needed it. Your daughter's happiness matters more than some judgmental adults. Maybe kicking them out was harsh, but they deserved it.
Chance-Lavishness947 says:
NTA and my word, what it must have meant to Hannah to be protected and supported like that. You're a good one. The other "adults" could learn something about treating people with respect and compassion. They deserve to face the consequences of victimising a vulnerable kid, thinking they'd get away with it because they're adults and in the majority.
ncjr591 says:
F%$k them, how dare they do that to poor Hannah. If they had issue they should have spoken to you not the girl. Don’t ever let them back, they are garbage and should be thrown out like the trash they are.
Wild_Ana says:
NTA - You fiercely defended a vulnerable girl who was being unfairly targeted. Your actions were justified and sent a powerful message about protecting those in your care.
What do you think?