'AITA for drinking a protein shake at my friend's wedding because she didn't have a vegetarian option?'
"AITA for drinking a protein shake at my friend's wedding?"
Commercial_Pool_7223 writes:
I, 26F, am a vegetarian, which limits my food options at catered events such as conferences and parties. I am lucky to find a vegetarian option that isn’t a salad, let alone a vegetarian main dish with protein. I get really lightheaded and irritable when I am hungry, which makes interacting with others more challenging.
I do not expect every event to accommodate me, so I’ve started to bring an emergency protein shake and/or protein bar with me to every conference or function I go to. I know it may seem silly and trivial, but this makes these functions so much more enjoyable, and I feel like I’m more fun to be around when I’m not hungry.
This past weekend, my friend “Vanessa,” 28F, got married. She told me there would be lots of things for vegetarians, but as usual, I brought an emergency protein shake to her wedding. (“Lots of vegetarian options” can mean two different salads in my experience.)
There was buffet-style catering, and the only options for vegetarians were steamed vegetables, salad, and dinner rolls. I loaded my plate with some vegetables and a roll and took out my protein shake. I didn’t think much of it. I had a wonderful time catching up with old friends, and it was a beautiful wedding.
It wasn’t until Vanessa called me a few days after the fact that I realized I may have done something wrong. At first, I thought she was just concerned, since she asked me why I was drinking a protein shake at her wedding. I explained to her that I carry an emergency protein shake with me in case there are no vegetarian options, so I don’t get hungry.
She reminded me that there was salad and rolls. I told her that while the salad and rolls were delicious, they did not comprise a full meal. She began getting defensive and said sarcastically, “Well, I’m sorry my food wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH for you. Next time I’ll order an all-vegetarian seven-course feast!” I tried to keep calm.
I told her that was not necessary. The reason I bring my protein shake is so that I can fully enjoy the event without going hungry. She said it was incredibly rude that I brought the protein shake and that it made her look like a bad host and “killed the vibe.” She even went so far as to say she couldn’t use any of the photos with me in them because I “didn’t match the aesthetic.”
I’ve talked to my family, and they all think Vanessa is overreacting and that I did nothing wrong. However, some friends closer to Vanessa told me that while they understood why I brought the protein shake, it could read as disrespectful. Vanessa is normally pretty reasonable, so I am wondering if I really messed up. Was I wrong to bring a protein shake to her wedding?
Here are some of the thoughts of the internet:
cato314 says:
ESH for me. Her reaction was over the top and exasperating, but also drinking a protein shake at a wedding is a wild move. A protein bar or other snack I’d get, but pulling out a shake is for sure a statement.
samkachan says:
NTA. At my brother in law's wedding the meal wasn't served until late in the evening and it was a hog roast.. as a vegetarian I had been told there would be a vegetarian option. My SIL was gluten free at the time and I figured would understand accounting for dietary requirements. Turned out the "vegetarian option" was vegetable kebabs.
Literally just grilled courgette and pepper on a stick. And then some bread and salad leaves on the sides. I was breastfeeding at the time and absolutely starving and we were in the middle of nowhere and couldn't leave to find food. That was 10 years ago and it still bothers me. Every wedding since I've taken my own snacks. You are absolutely NTA.
CuriousEmphasis7698 says:
NTA. Vanessa is over reacting and is also ignorant of the issue. It wasn't that the food wasn't 'good enough' it's that there was no vegetarian protein option. OP was actually very sensible rather than expecting that this would be provided.
OP assumed (rightly) that this would not be provided and prepared accordingly. Vanessa seems to be pretty petty and focused on the wrong things here and really doesn't sound like much of a genuine friend to OP.
NandoDeColonoscopy says:
Mild YTA. You should've stepped outside to drink your protein shake. It is indeed a sign of disrespect to bring your own food as an adult to a catered wedding. Also, you knew when the reception started, yes? Why not plan your snacking accordingly ahead of time? Clearly you had enough of an inkling this would be an issue since you brought a shake with you.
What do you think?