'AITA for giving up on my marriage because my husband wanted to be open and I didn't?'
"AITA for ending my marriage because my partner wanted to make it an open one?"
Flat_Ad_7911 writes:
My husband and I had been married for four years. Our relationship had its ups and downs like any other, but I always believed we had a strong bond and a shared vision for the future. However, a few months ago, my husband brought up the idea of opening our marriage.
He said he loved me deeply but felt we could spice things up by exploring connections with other people. We hadn’t even been together that long for something like that to be necessary. He claimed it wasn’t about lacking anything in our relationship but about growth and exploration. Huh.
I was shocked. I’ve always been monogamous, and we had never discussed anything like this before, even while dating. When we got married, we promised to be committed to each other. This felt like a betrayal of those vows to me.
I told him I wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but he kept bringing it up, insisting it could strengthen our relationship. Eventually, he said he would respect my boundaries but admitted he might end up resenting me later for holding him back.
That statement crushed me. It became clear that we were no longer on the same page about something fundamental. I didn’t want to stay in a marriage where I’d always feel like I wasn’t enough or worry about future resentment. So, I decided to end it.
Since then, he’s been telling friends and family that I gave up on us too quickly. Some of our mutual friends think I should have tried harder to compromise or even give the open marriage a shot, while others are supportive of my decision. Now I’m left wondering: AITA for ending my marriage over this?
Here are OP's responses to top rated comments:
NefariousnessFresh24 says:
You do realize that to him "open marriage" means he gets to fuck around all he wants, while still having you on the side, but the moment you actually found somebody he'd be all for closing it off again?
And sorry, you are not the one "giving up on the marriage", he is the one who does not take his vows seriously. NTA, and give him the choice: either the two of you go to marriage counseling, or the marriage becomes so open that it is nonexistent.
OP responded:
He refused counselling plus I already ended the marriage.
-KristalG- says:
NTA. Likely he is already cheating or at the very least is in an emotional affair.
OP responded:
Asked him that and he said I'm just speculating and overthinking.