'AITA for believing my GF's best male friend's text saying that they're cheating together?'
"AITA for blasting my girlfriend in response to her male best friend telling me he's been helping her cheat on me?"
throwra_4240 says:
My girlfriend (now ex) and I were together for around 6 months. She had a male best friend who had a crush on her and was always trying to get between us. It was a bit annoying because she knew he liked her but kept hanging out with him. But I kind of brushed it off and decided to trust her words that she wasn't into him like that.
Yesterday he sent me this long message saying he's been helping her cheat on me the entire time and they laughed together about how bad I was at intimacy. I kind of saw red and said some things I probably shouldn't have said.
Namely, that I was cheating on her the whole time too (untrue but I was very angry), that I was only with her to use her and didn't actually care about her, that I was only bad because she wasn't anything to me, and that he won a prize no one wanted. I blocked him, screenshot what I told him, sent it to my girlfriend, and blocked her too.
My girlfriend then called me from unknown saying he lied in revenge because she cut him off. She was hysterical at my response. I told her I said those words out of anger but she didn't believe it at all.
And according to her even if I didn't believe those things, saying them was f*&%ed up. We are now broken up because of this.AITA for how I responded? In my mind I was defending myself against the both of them and I had no way of knowing he was lying.
Here are the top comments:
MedicineTricky6222 says:
Sounds like a middle school argument using the f-word. You guys need to put your big kid boots on and walk away.
Last-Butterscotch-68 says:
You took the bait. You already knew this person was ‘trying to get between you’ but you blindly trusted them more than your partner. You didn’t give her the benefit of the doubt or opportunity to defend herself against slanderous lies.
It’s difficult to trust anyone who- even mistakenly went out of their way to intentionally hurt you. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and there is something to be said for personal integrity.
Your devastation is understandable, you were hurt, but even children are taught tantrums are not an acceptable reaction to their emotions. You failed to give yourself the opportunity to respond logically rather than react emotionally. Letting emotions get the better of you isn’t an excuse to hurt someone.
The benefit of being the ‘bigger person’ or initially taking the high road is you can always be mean later, being mean isn’t a difficult skill, but making sure you have the facts before lashing out saves you burden of regret. The real a%^#ole is the ‘best friend’ but unfortunately his actions don’t make you less accountable for your own. YTA (You're the A^@*ole).
Open_Mortgage_4645 says:
You destroyed yourself. Why would you take this dude's claims as fact? You knew he was a snake. Why would you believe he was being truthful? And then, why wouldn't talk to your ex-GF before assuming that what he said was true? You made bad decisions at every opportunity. YTA.
What do you think?