"AITA for getting my wife fired because she's mean to me in the mornings?"
"AITA for refusing to wake my girlfriend up for work, which led to her getting fired?"
ForsakenFigure6334 writes:
I [26M] have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, Jess [28F], for three years. Jess and I live together. Jess is not a morning person. This is primarily due to the fact that she’s up until 2 or 3 a.m. every day on her phone, despite having to wake up at 8 AM.
I’ve tried to get her to start going to bed earlier so she could wake up on time, but she says that would leave her no time to do her own things. Seeing as she only works until 4 p.m., this is patently false, but I decided not to press the issue.
Generally, I have to wake Jess up. I wake up at 5:00, run for an hour, get home at 6:00, shower, eat breakfast, and use my computer a bit. I’ll start waking Jess up around 7:30. I fully understand it’s ridiculous to have to wake a 28-year-old woman up, but I honestly don’t mind—or at least I wouldn’t mind—if it weren’t for the fact that waking Jess up is a nightmare.
I start by gradually turning on the lights at around 7:30, starting with the bedside lamp. Then I begin gently trying to wake her up. If she gets up around this time, she’ll go to the bathroom, and then I’ll go back to the room to find her asleep again.
The worst part about waking her up is that she’s so ornery in the morning. She’ll use expletives directed at me, insult me, and then later, when I bring up her words, she’ll just say, “I was sleepy and out of it. What do you want me to do?”
Well, last Friday, she pushed things a bit too far. I was waking Jess up as usual, and when she walked past me to go to the bathroom, she made this exaggerated dry-heaving sound at me. Then she said, “You f%@$ing smell. Take a shower.” I had already taken a shower and always maintain good hygiene.
That evening, I told her that our deal with me waking her up every day was done. I was done with her tantrums, done with her insults, and done with her frankly stupid facial expressions due to how out of it she was. I told her I’m not moving a finger to make sure she gets up for work on time. She was naturally upset about this, but I said she could wake herself up.
Today was Monday, and lo and behold, she overslept and was over an hour late. Since she had already been written up twice during her probationary period for her job, this was an automatic firing.
Around noon, she called me incoherently, yelling about how I got her fired. I had to hang up on her to get back to work. When I got home, she immediately started shrieking at me more and then demanded half my salary until she found a better job. I feel like making her go cold turkey on waking up might have been too sudden, and apparently, she really liked the job she had. Should I have at least tried to wake her up?
Here are the top comments from readers of the post:
truckleak1984 says:
NTA and she sounds pretty toxic. Are you sure this is a relationship that makes you happy?
Open_Negotiation8196 says:
Boss imma be real she just sounds abusive.
sepsychologist says:
Your girlfriend is an abusive, irresponsible child. You are NTA. Forgive me if I’m overstepping bounds bc it wasn’t part of your question but I hope she finds herself unemployed and single very soon.
Snackinpenguin says:
NTA. Dude, your girl is abusive. Flat out. She gives you sh%t when you try to wake her up, and you have to baby her doing this with gradual wake up nudges. Every. Single. Day. Then she is constantly cranky at you? She doesn’t get to do that with coworkers early in the morning, so why does she get to with you?
It’s feeling pretty rich then that she’s demanding half your salary because SHE was late/fired. That’s fully on her. This isn’t going to get better as she still blames you and isn’t taking accountability for her sh%#ty ways.