'AITA for 'ruining' my sister's wedding because I had a secret daughter 3 years ago?'
"AITA for keeping the entire existence of my daughter a secret from my family?"
0R0SPU_EVLADI writes:
I (24F) had a daughter when I was 21. I was in a messy, situationship-level thing with a guy who bailed when I told him I was pregnant. I didn’t tell anyone in my family. I didn’t live at home, I was in a different city, and I just… handled it. I worked, did online college, took care of my baby. It wasn’t easy, but it was mine.
My family is very image-focused. Like, reputation in the neighborhood, social media, always perfect Christmas card kind of family. I didn’t want to deal with the judgment, the fake support, the lectures.
So I just… never told them. I slowly stopped coming to events, I always had “work” or “school,” and they assumed I was just in my own world. We texted and talked, just never in person. Fast forward to this summer. My sister (26F) got married. I was a bridesmaid. I left my daughter (now 3) with my best friend during the weekend. Wedding went fine, no drama, great photos, all good.
Then last week, I finally told my mom. I was ready. I felt like I didn’t want to keep hiding such a huge part of my life. At first she was shocked but calm… then she told my sister, and that’s when all hell broke loose.
My sister texted me a five-paragraph essay about how I “ruined her wedding retroactively” because I “lied with my whole face” the entire weekend. She said she felt disgusting looking back at photos with me in them and that I “hid a whole human being.”
She also said I made a mockery of her “motherhood-themed” bridal speech (which is wild to me because… what?) and that if she’d known, she would’ve made her wedding about celebrating me becoming a mom too.
Now everyone’s split. My dad is proud of me for raising a kid on my own. My mom thinks it’s sad I had to do it alone but also says I was “deceptive.” My aunt thinks I’m cruel for keeping it a secret. My sister blocked me. AITAH for not telling them sooner? Or was it okay to have that time for just me and my daughter?
Here are the top rated comments.
halfasleeppanda says:
Focus on your daughter, and go NC with your sister. You don't need negativity in your life!
StylishMrTrix says:
I'd respond with "and this bulls^#t is exactly why I didn't tell you when I had my daughter, instead of attacking me, maybe you should be asking why you weren't worthy of knowing when it happened."
Dresden_Mouse says:
I get that you wanted to protect the kid and yourself from their judgement but can you really can blame them for being upset about being lied for 3 years? For the post their reaction wasn't that toxic, and It also kind of show them how you feel about them. But at the end of the day the most important thing is protect the kid.
SassyBellaBunz says:
NTA. You didn’t “hide a human being.” You raised one like a damn superhero.