'AITA for leaving a first date because he brought his mom to interview me?'
"AITA for leaving a first date because his mom came along?"
Responsible-Rent8353 writes:
So, I’m 23F and went on a first date last week with a guy I matched with on Hinge. Let’s call him Jake, 25M. We’d been chatting for a few weeks, and he seemed like a solid guy—funny, with good taste in music, and he even remembered that I loved Italian food. He planned the date at this nice little spot in Dallas, which I thought was sweet.
I show up, and everything’s fine at first. He’s already there, we hug, and he even compliments my outfit. But, like five minutes after I sit down, this older woman walks in. Jake stands up, waves her over, and says, “This is my mom!”
I thought I misheard him for a second. She sits down at the table, all casual, and starts introducing herself to me like this is normal. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there trying to figure out if I’m being pranked.
I kind of laugh nervously and say, “Oh, I didn’t know you were bringing anyone,” and he goes, “Oh, she just wanted to meet you. Don’t worry—it’s not a big deal.” But it was a big deal because she didn’t just stop by to say hi—she ordered wine and stayed.
The whole time, she’s asking me these personal questions about my job, my family, and even if I want kids someday. It felt like an interview, not a date. Jake barely said anything. He just smiled and kept nodding like this was all normal.
After about 20 minutes of this, I couldn’t take it anymore. I said I wasn’t feeling great and needed to leave. I texted him later, saying I didn’t think it would work out and wished him well.
Now I feel kinda bad. My roommate says I did the right thing because, honestly, who brings their mom to a first date? But my coworker said it was rude to just leave and that maybe his mom was just super close to him or nervous for him or whatever. Was I wrong for walking out?
Here are the top rated comments from readers.
Fluffy-Cupcake12 says:
You’re definitely not in the wrong here. Bringing his mom to a first date without warning is a major red flag. First dates are about getting to know each other, not being grilled by someone’s parent. You politely excused yourself, which is fair given the situation. Don’t feel bad—you dodged an awkward future!
OP responded:
It’s just tough because I feel like it’s hard to find someone who gets that balance between being close with family and respecting personal space.
Zscalerrguy says:
It’s absurd that he would bring her. Unless she needs constant supervision due to some health issue. That is a very strange dynamic. You did what most anyone else would have done. Best of Luck.
OP responded:
Right?! I was honestly in shock. I get wanting to be close to family, but that’s a whole new level. No health issues that I know of, just... very attached, I guess? Appreciate the support, seriously, though! I’ll have to figure out how to approach it without sounding rude if I ever see him again.