'AITA for leaving my boyfriend after his friend exposed that he is keeping secrets from me?'
"AITA for leaving my boyfriend 'for no reason'"
Sweaty-Dark2229 says:
I (26F) have been with my now-ex-boyfriend “Eric” (28M) for two years. Overall, we’ve had a good relationship, nothing crazy—until last night when things completely fell apart. We were out at a bar with some of his friends, just having a normal night.
Drinks, food, the usual. Eric and his friend “Mark” (28M) were joking around, and Eric made a comment about how much Mark was eating. Something like, “Careful, Mark, you’ll eat the whole damn bar.” It seemed harmless at first, just typical guy humor.
But then Mark looked right at me and said, “If only she knew.” It was one of those moments where you instantly feel uncomfortable, like there’s something going on behind your back. I had no idea what Mark was talking about, and the whole vibe at the table shifted. But before I could even react, Eric exploded.
He went off on Mark, screaming at him to shut the f^#k up, and even tried to get physical. His other friends had to hold him back. Mark didn’t really react, which only made Eric angrier. The whole thing was awkward as hell, and we ended up leaving early.
When we got back to my place, I couldn’t stop thinking about that comment. So I asked Eric, “What the hell did Mark mean by ‘If only she knew’? What don’t I know?” And instead of just answering me like a normal person, Eric lost it again. He started yelling at me, telling me to drop it and stop being “paranoid.”
He was dodging every question, getting more pissed every time I brought it up. I wasn’t trying to pick a fight, I just wanted to know what was going on. It felt like there was something important being hidden from me, and I wasn’t about to let it slide. But every time I asked, he’d just get more defensive and angry.
Finally, he stormed out of my apartment. He doesn’t live with me, so I locked the door and called it a night. I didn’t hear from him until this morning, and when I did, it was just more angry texts, telling me to “drop it” and leave him alone.
At that point, I was done. I’m not going to sit around and be treated like I’m crazy for asking a simple question. I texted him back saying we’re done, I need space, and if he can’t be honest with me, then I don’t want any part of this relationship. End of story.
Now here’s where it gets worse. He’s been going around to our mutual friends, telling them that I “left him for no reason” and trying to make it seem like I’m the one who overreacted. Some of them have even reached out to me, saying I should have just let it go and that I’m blowing things out of proportion.
I told them to mind their own f^#%ing business. I don’t care what they think—none of them were in that moment, none of them saw how he acted, and none of them have to live with the pit in their stomach that I’ve had since that weird-ass comment from Mark.
I’m not about to stay in a relationship where I feel like something shady is going on behind my back. If Eric can’t be straight with me after two years together, then what’s the point?
So, AITA for leaving him over this? Corrections involved punctuation adjustments and removing a comma in the phrase "I wasn’t trying to pick a fight I just wanted to know..." which needed a break for clarity.
Here are the top rated comments to OP's post.
DevotedRed says:
NTA and let us know if you find out this big secret that made HIM overreact to his friend.
recyclopath_ says:
NTA. Between the keeping secrets and the acting ape s@%t it sounds like this experience was the nail in the coffin from some previous red flags.
ChibiSailorMercury says:
Your ex got angry at the thought of you finding out something he didn't want you to find out to the point he got physically violent towards his friend, exploded at you and tried to gaslight you unto thinking that you're the problem for wanting honesty. Text that to his friends he's unleashing on you and block them. NTA.
Careless-Tourist6080 says:
Nah, you’re not the a%$@ole. Trusting your gut is important, and if he can’t communicate, then you deserve better.