'AITA because I pay for a maid to clean the house before I come home?' 'My wife stays home.'
"AITA because I pay for a maid to clean the house before I come home?"
I work out of town and my wife stays home with our two teen kids. When I'm home I take care of the housework to give my wife a break. The kids are supposed to help around the house in return for me paying for their phones and stuff.
My wife chooses not to enforce that while I'm gone. Our income is split thusly. We pay all our bills. Including the kids phones. We set aside money for retire, vacations, emergencies, etc. What is left over is split evenly between her and I. So we each have money for fun stuff separately.
For the last eight months or so she has made very little effort to keep the house clean while I'm gone. But she gets very upset if I just let it stay messy when I'm home. She says that the kids are too busy with extracurricular activities and their jobs to help and that she gets overwhelmed.
She does not work. Both kids are in high school. I bought them a car and I pay for everything except fuel. They are responsible for getting themselves to extracurriculars and whatever else they want to do. I told her that it wasn't fair for me to have to clean up four weeks of mess on my two weeks off. That she should be forcing the kids to do their part.
She says it's too hard. Two shifts ago I told the kids I was done paying for their phones and car bills. The car was paid for cash so there isn't a loan or anything. Just insurance, registration, maintenance, that stuff.
I took the money and I pay for a maid to come and clean up the day before I get home. That way I can just maintain it until I leave. My wife is mad that the kids have to pay their own bills, and that I'm "cheating" by paying someone else to do my chores. I'm not. I'm paying someone to do theirs.
I found out she's been giving the kids money out of her share to pay their bills. She is now mad that I have money for my hobbies but she does not. I don't really care. She needs to do her part and clean up and parent. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
tinyd71 said:
If you don't want to return to a messy home, that seems reasonable. If no one else is going to ensure that the home you return to isn't messy, it sounds like you've found a workable solution.
Assuming you gave your kids a heads up that their free ride was coming to an end, giving them an opportunity to step up their game (and they then didn't!), your solution (to me) is creative and effective. NTA.
NoRazzmatazz564 said:
NTA. In fact it's a great solution. If the kids want the money they can clean instead, if your wife wants the money she can get them to and clean as well. Your solution gets you a clean house and keeps them able to control their part of finance and cleaning.
No_Lavishness_3206 said:
NTA. She chooses not to do the work. She chooses not to make your kids do chores. She chooses to pay them to do nothing. It's all on her.
Kukka63 said:
NTA, paying for a maid to clean is an excellent idea since your wife is unbelievably lazy. What on earth does she do all day????? She also sets such a bad example to your children by doing nothing and expecting you to sort everything out.
peachypapayas said:
I’m surprised your respect for her hasn’t gone through the floor. She’s been barely cleaning or parenting for almost a year. NTA. You should point blank ask her to get a job so you can spend the next eight months moaning about how cleaning is hard and the kids hate chores. Perhaps that will make her understand how useless, unfair and inconsiderate she’s being.
CatchMeIfYouCan09 said:
You should go full strike. SHE'S not working and not taking the kids to school or extra curriculars.... SHE needs to clean the house. The kids need to work to cover their expenses or the consequence is they have no phone or use of a car. You're doing to much. NTA.