'I put a lock on my door after my sister's fiancé went through my drawers. AITA?' UPDATED

"AITA? I put a lock on my door after my sisters fiancé went through my drawers."

My sister's fiancé was found to be going through my drawers, and they’re both ‘hurt’ about my reaction of putting locks on my bedroom after this single event. My sister and her fiancé moved in with my parents and I a couple of weeks ago.

Back story: They’re not the tidiest people and don’t clean up after themselves. Their last lease wasn’t extended, and they hadn’t really bothered looking for places to move into, they just assumed they could move in, in the mean time while trying to find somewhere. They smoke a lot of green, and both don’t work.

One morning when everyone was out and my dad had just been in the shower, he had walked past my room and found my sister's fiancé in there, going through my draws saying ‘I was just trying to find some of sister's underwear’. When my dad had told me I felt completely violated, and upset because my personal space had been entered with my stuff rummaged through.

I asked for locks to be put on the doors, I have quite a bit of expensive jewelry, clothes and electronics in my room. My sister and her fiancé are super offended at the locks being put onto the doors, they’re ‘hurt’ and feel like they’re not trusted and the fiancé is under the impression that we think he is a creep. They think how I reacted to it all is uncalled for.

Am I actually TA for being upset and wanting a lock on my door?

The fiancé reckons he only did it without letting me know because he felt like we were family, even though my own family wouldn’t have even rummaged through my drawers.

The internet kept it honest in the comment section.

AnakaliaKehau wrote:

NTA. I mean if my father caught my sister’s fiancé going through my drawers and panties he would have probably kicked him out because it is creepy. I would also get locks and when they say their feelings are hurt I would laugh in their faces and say “too bad” but that’s just me. He crossed major boundaries and is a creep! The audacity of them being hurt. It’s comical. Dummies.

wibblewobblej wrote:

NTA. I don’t know anyone in your house, and I can confirm 100% that he was absolutely not looking for sister's undies. He is a creep, and I hope your parents support you and look to getting him out of the house and away from you. I’ve read so many stories on this website that have escalated, cameras in the bedrooms/bathroom etc. Stay safe mate.

lowkeyhobi wrote:

Yes he is a creep. Why is he looking for your sister's underwear in YOUR underwear drawer?

And your father's lack of a reaction is so disgusting. You find someone going through your daughter's underwear and you don't say or do anything?

Leather_Coffee4375 wrote:

NTA he only could've been in there for two reasons:

He was being a creep.

He was looking for money either answer is more than enough reason to get locks on your door.

A day later, OP shared an update.

-UPDATE-

Thank you everyone for making me feel like I wasn’t going crazy here! They’ve decided to move out to a friend's house as THEY DIDN'T FEEL COMFORTABLE IN THE HOUSE ANYMORE. Go figure. insert biggest eye roll here

Dad didn’t immediately kick them out as he was in shock about the whole situation too, and wanted to protect his other daughter as well, but is very happy they are going after thinking everything through.

Also thank you to everyone for the English lessons, I’m from across the pond, and haven’t replied to anything because of the time differences.

The comments kept coming.

Autumnroyal wrote:

Not even close to being TA. Sounds like fiancé knows he’s a creep and thought he’d get on the front foot by pretending to be ‘hurt’. Your personal safety always comes first and you did the right thing with the locks.

OriginalDogestar wrote:

OP asked for the locks, OP's dad allowed it....that is enough to know OP is NTA.

OP if your dad agreed to locks, you are secure knowing that even your dad found it creepy and wrong, and would direct the creeps to him about it all.

Pleasant-Koala147 wrote:

"They’re ‘hurt’ and feel like they’re not trusted."

They aren’t trusted. That’s often the consequence of going into someone’s room and through someone’s drawers without permission.

"The fiancé is under the impression we think he is a creep." He is a creep. He was going through your drawers. Why wouldn’t you think he’s a creep for that? Either that or he’s a thief. Tell him to take his pick: would he like you to think he’s a thief or a creep? Those are really the only response to his actions. NTA.

RunningRunnerRun wrote:

Creeps always use this type of guilt to get away with the smaller stuff. This allows them to escalate and get away with bigger stuff without anyone wanting to say anything because they don’t want to hurt their feelings.

OP, I just want to say that it sounds like your dad is awesome.

I didn’t have any grown men in my life growing up that would have stood up for me like that because they were all afraid of hurting each others feelings and I’m just so happy to hear that there a men like that out there. Keep your lock and keep looking out for yourself. You’re feelings are (at least) as important as the creeps feelings. I’m glad people are starting to understand and respect that.

TheLoneliestGhost wrote:

Get a secret camera. There are two options: either he’s a pervert, or a thief who was trying to steal from you. Neither is acceptable but you should know who you’re dealing with and you’ll figure that out when you see what he takes. Now it’s a challenge to them, I’m sure.

PatchEnd wrote:

NTA. If your sis needed undies, SHE should have gotten them. was he going to go through your mom's undies next for some? Keep the lock on, leave nothing in common areas. Make sure your bathroom is secure and camera less. I don't care if I am blowing this out of proportion, but not apologizing and being mad and not embarrassed on their part is a big red flag.