'AITA for refusing to go to an all woman's gym to make my BF more comfortable?'
"AITA for refusing to switch to an all woman's gym for my boyfriend?"
_Eloranyx writes:
I (25F) have been dating Ben (27M) for 3 months. Recently, Ben started expressing discomfort with me going to my regular co-ed gym. He says that it's normal for women with boyfriends to go to all-women gyms to avoid attention from other men and to make their partners feel more secure, and that his ex-girlfriend swapped gyms when they started dating.
I've been going to this gym for about a year, and I have a great routine, a supportive group of workout buddies, and I feel comfortable there. The idea of switching gyms just to make my boyfriend feel better doesn’t sit right with me. I believe trust and respect are crucial in a relationship, and this feels like a lack of trust on his part.
I tried explaining my perspective to him, but he insists that his request is reasonable and that I'm being inconsiderate of his feelings. Since we can't agree, we've come to the internet for opinions as we don't want to involve our families and friends. So AITA for refusing to switch to an all-women gym to make my boyfriend more comfortable?
OP provided an update after reading these comments:
PudeldesTodes91 says:
"Avoid attention from other men"... well there is the first red flag. It starts with the gym. then the beach and what to wear in public in the future. It is not your job to avoid having a life and contact to other people to make him feel secure. Run!
OP responded:
This is a good point I hadn't considered, thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Good_Focus2665 says:
If it was normal for women to switch to all women’s gym when they are in a relationship, there would be a heck of a lot more all women’s gyms around especially in the suburbs. Like my county doesn’t even have one and it’s as suburbia as it can get. NTA. Your boyfriend sounds like a controlling moron. You can do better.
andhakaran says:
Does he also expect you to work in an all women profession? You must also, very soon, be expected to wear modest clothes since any show of skin attracts unwanted male gaze. So much care, it must be suffocating.
kissklub says:
WHO said it’s normal for women with a bf to go to an all girls gym? Is there a discount for that or something? NTA.
OP provided an update:
There are so many comments now I can't possibly reply to them all! I wasn't expecting to get this many replies! Just wanted to let you know after discussing we have decided it's best to end things.
I feel the relationship won't be healthy, and he thinks he needs to work on himself before being in a relationship. I was pleasantly surprised by his ability to take the criticism on board and hope this helps him become a better partner to someone in the future. I will be spending a lot more time in the gym now!
What do you think?