'I torpedoed a dude's entire career because he was a bully.' UPDATED

"I torpedoed a dude's entire career because he was a bully."

So, to preface, I know I'm something of a nepo baby, but it is what it is. My mom is incredibly successful in a very niche but very lucrative field of business. This allowed my dad to be a SAHD, and for me and my siblings to get a good education.

When I graduated from college, I decided to go into the same field as my mom. While I love her and our relationship is good, I very much did not want to only be viewed as her kid or receive special treatment due to how well regarded she is, so I use my dad's surname and generally keep who my mom is to myself. I also avoided working for her.

In my field and country, it's generally accepted that people are hired for a trial period, at the end of which either the employee or employer can cut ties with no fines or compensation required.

So, anyway, I went to work at one company (again, I'll remind you—very niche market, very few employment opportunities). I went in for my trial period, and everyone seemed pretty happy with me. I put out some fires, and one superior described me as "a workhorse" because I'm first to the office, last out the door. It went pretty well, except for one colleague on my team.

This dude was a HUGE jerk. I'm a bit of a people pleaser and try to be on good terms with everyone, but Jerk would have NONE of it. Dude was incredibly rude. He kept being very confrontational. If a colleague (not just me) was getting any sort of acknowledgment, Jerk would belittle them and their accomplishment.

If someone said they had a rough time with something, Jerk would pop up, saying, "Oh yeah, I did that a while back, it was SUPER EASY." Whenever someone tried talking about future plans with me, Jerk would go, "Oh yeah, we'll see about that." He also apparently said some very unkind things about my appearance and masculinity, but at least he had the decency to say those behind my back, and I only learned about them later.

Dude was incredibly mean, for apparently no reason except trying to make himself look better by making everyone else look worse. This one thing wasn’t directed at me specifically because I'm male, but his meanness seemed to especially apply to women.

A few comments were about how working in this field isn't for moms and how they should be raising kids or whatever, and some other very bad stuff. But management seemed pretty content keeping him around because apparently he was a good worker, and they liked that he was ambitious. Fine.

My trial period ended. I was offered a permanent position but decided this was not the place for me, as I don't love being anybody's workhorse and had very little interest in sticking around Jerk's vicinity. I respectfully informed them I would not be staying and found work elsewhere. On my last day, I came to say goodbye.

Management said they were sorry to see me go. Colleagues wished me well and said they were going to miss me. Jerk said, "HA! Told you OP wasn't gonna stick around! Good riddance! Maybe this field isn't for you either!" Very loudly. I left. I'm not very confrontational, and I didn't have to deal with him anymore anyway, so I just left.

Some time went by, and I am now employed elsewhere. I'm happy and doing well. I love my work and my colleagues. I've been promoted, and I don't really think about Jerk anymore, except...

Apparently, there's a relative influx of applicants from Jerk's company? (Relative because again—very niche market.) Whatever. My boss knows I did a trial period there, so whenever an applicant comes up, he asks me about my experience with them.

There are very few people I dislike, so when asked, I usually give my honest opinion, which is usually very positive. But guess whose application we suddenly receive? It's Jerk! My boss asks for my opinion, and I say, "Look, I have personal feelings about this person, and I can't be objective."

My boss, knowing just how positive I usually am about basically everyone, asks me what's up, and eventually, I tell him. I tell him everything. Jerk, obviously, doesn't get hired. I assume that's the end of that.

A few days later, we have a family dinner. My mom goes, "Wait, you had a trial period at that company, right? Do you know Jerk?" Well, my mom knew there was a person I really didn't get along with at that company and the shitty things they did. I tell her it was him. Obviously, she ain't gonna hire him either, especially given his views on women.

So, my company ends up hiring one of Jerk's former colleagues. She and I are on great terms, and this is how I discover what happened there—Jerk got promoted, and that made a bunch of people want to leave.

This caused management to look into why, and why strong applicants were leaving after their trial periods. Turned out it was Jerk. Someone had a talk with him, and from what I gather, he was not receptive to criticism. He was let go. This is when he applied to my company and my mom's.

From what I understand, he no longer works in our field (there are, as I mentioned, not many employers around), but unfortunately, I have no idea what he does now. Will update if I find out.

Here are the top comments from readers.

Mapilean says:

That was satisfactory. Dude made his bed and now has to sleep in it. Pity Management enabled him for so long.

LawfulnessPossible20 says:

There are some people I connect with on LinkedIn just to make sure I will never need to work with them again.

Great-Willingness-57 says:

Nstory but i dont think you did much to hurt Jerk nor was very it petty. Was hopping he got banned from the industry and had to be homeless or something after that.

OP responded:

I don't really know how relevant my input specifically was, but the niche is very small so in essence he probably was banned from the industry.

About a month later OP came back with this update:

So been a minute since my original post. Thing kinda blew up, and that caused me to wanna give a small update and clear some stuff up. So first, let me stress that my field is very niche, with few employment opportunities. It is also, as some of you suggested - niche.

1. Okay okay, seriously now. As some of you actually guessed the field is medicine in a small county. This means that there aren't many spots on the residency program, but also a pretty constant influx of students & interns. The field is pretty lucrative - shitty hours, yes, but great money & a lot of prestige.

2. Some asked about an exit interview at the end of the trial- had one of those. Said I didn't really vibe with the culture & certain aspects of the way they did things. Didn't name Jerk.

3. As a young (relatively speaking) specialist in my field in a not very large department - I get to weigh in on potential colleagues, so if I say someone sucks, that bears some weight. And if a department starts having issues attracting the best candidates because its chief resident is a jerk, that's gonna be an issue.

So with that out of the way, let's get to the update.

A lot of you were very curious as to what had actually happened to him. So, I reached out to some friends. He's still a doctor (obviously), but he just went into another specialty, which given how long he worked to become chief resident is telling. He does okay probably?

The reason for the update - it turns out I know his wife. I LIKE his wife - she was a year ahead of me in medschool. Got curious so I texted her. Turns out she's not actually his wife anymore - she's his ex. They got divorced. Had coffee with her, still a lovely woman. She's not on reddit but apparently this thing got on out at some point and reached her?

Well I told her about this and she couldn't believe it was me. Except she could, because she suspected it was me because I apparently sound like a twat when I express myself in writing, which she remembers from my days at the student council equivalent and my many, many emails. So... okay? Still, had a good time. We're getting coffee again on Sunday.

Anyway I didn't have anything to do with his firing, but after he was let go, presumably quite unamicably, he decided to move abroad after not being able to get into another department here. This didn't come to fruition but it DID cause a rift in their marriage, which then led to divorce. So... maybe I kinda torpedoed his marriage too?

And yeah, that's about it for the update. Will let you know if I get beaten up in a parking lot though, as some of you suggested I might.